


We'll Stay Young Forever

by Johns_Bananayuh



Category: EXO (Band), NCT (Band), SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Anxiety, Be Gay And Do Crime, Coming of Age, Crack, Drugs, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Horny Teenagers, How Do I Tag, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Musical References, Musicals, OT21 (NCT), Panic Attacks, Recreational Drug Use, Self-Acceptance, Theater Kid Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, references to random seventeen members, these tags seem extreme but it's not that bad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24637243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johns_Bananayuh/pseuds/Johns_Bananayuh
Summary: "Bro, just swallow the Juul, we can pump your stomach later.""I can't swallow my Juul!!! This shit was expensive!""So you are willing to swallow dick no problem, but a Juul suddenly crosses the line."Or, Mark is the new kid at Neo City High and all of NCT does a musical together.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Kim Jungwoo/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno & Na Jaemin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 68





	1. So Whatever Happens, Let's Begin!

**Author's Note:**

> *DISCLAIMER* We are in no way encouraging or trying to glamorize the use of drugs, alcohol or mental health issues. Make safe and smart decisions. Also, we do not encourage illegal sexual interactions in any way, shape, or form. And although we are using the names of real people, these are purely fictional characters and are in no way connected to their real-life personas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *DISCLAIMER* We are in no way encouraging or trying to glamorize the use of drugs, alcohol, or mental health issues. Make safe and smart decisions. Also, we do not encourage illegal sexual interactions in any way, shape, or form. And although we are using the names of real people, these are purely fictional characters and are in no way connected to their real-life personas

(Chapter Word Count: 2734)

Mark has never been the new kid before. He'd lived in a small apartment in Vancouver with his Mom, and never considered the possibility of leaving. He's never been the type to have a lot of friends. A few acquaintances here and there, people he knew from classes or sports, but he's never had a girlfriend, let alone even a best friend. But Mark has his Mom and his dog, so what else could he need? 

Still, Mark is excited about the opportunity for a fresh start. His Mom had gone to Neo City High when it was still coed and tells him plenty of stories. Even if he wouldn't admit it out loud, Mark is eager to live in a dorm and become best friends with his roommate. All the people in his dormitory would have fun sleepovers and gossip together because that's what friends do...right?

What Mark did not expect was to open the door and start coughing excessively from all of the smoke in his room. Oh my god, smoke?!?! Is there a fire?? GREAT, it’s his first day, and he's already managed to set the dorm on fire.

"OH SHIT, is that a teacher!?"

"Fuck, man, I can't get caught again; my parents are gonna be pissed!!"

"Bro, just swallow the Juul, we can pump your stomach later."

"I can't swallow my Juul!!! This shit was expensive!"

"So you are willing to swallow dick no problem, but a Juul suddenly crosses the line."

"Yes, Jaehyun, of course, swallowing a Juul crosses the line, those are two VERY different things, you idiot."

What the fuck is going on? Who are all of these people in his dorm? It isn’t long before that question is answered though as he steps into the smoke-filled room. Mark looks up to meet the gaze of five older looking boys. 

Two of them were very tall, one has chestnut brown hair and the other has a light strawberry blonde color. The third boy is extremely attractive (objectively of course) and has messy hair with an ashy brown color. But it is the last two who really catch Mark’s eye. One has fiery red hair and is wearing makeup while the other has silver hair and has more piercings than Mark thinks he’s ever seen. Actually, now that he thinks about it, Mark realizes he’s really never known any boys who wear makeup and have piercings and colored hair before. 

"Oh shit, you must be my new roommate?" the boy with strawberry blonde hair announces interrupting Mark’s train of thought. “Mark right?” 

Mark nods his head in reply, unsure of how to respond. 

"Sup man, my name’s Yukhei, but you can call me Lucas. Sorry about all the smoke by the way. I honestly didn't think you were coming until later. I can tell these guys to beat it if you want."

"Hey, fuck you, Lucas I let you take a huge drag, at least let me stay," the other tall brown-haired boy snaps.

"Babe shut the fuck up, this kid looks scared out of his mind.” The boy with silver hair turns to face Mark with a large smile. “Hi Mark, my name's Ten. You’re fucking adorable and I'm sorry if we scared you!"

Mark is even more confused than before. This guy's name is Ten? Who names their kid Ten? Also, did he just say “babe”? Mark’s head swirls with questions.

"Uh, h-hi Ten, like the number? I'm Mark, Lucas' new roommate...but you already knew that." Wow, what a great first impression. 

"Haha yes and don’t worry, I get that a lot. I’m from Thailand, so my real name is really long. Ten just makes more sense. Also, that scary douchebag over there is my boyfriend Johnny.”

The boy Ten referred to as Johnny scoffs and rolls his eyes in response. 

Mark decides that Ten didn’t seem too bad. After all, he is pretty welcoming. Mark is still confused about the boyfriend thing though. He doesn’t have much time to think it over before the very handsome boy is holding out something that looks like a metal...pen? Wait, is this,

"Yo, dude I'm Jaehyun, Johnny's roommate. You want a hit?" 

So he is offering Mark some kind of vape? Mark honestly still has no idea. How is he supposed to know? He’d always avoided the kids who did drugs in school so he did not have much experience when it came to these things. Mark internally smacked his forehead. He hasn’t even been at this school for ten minutes and he’s already being offered some kind of drug.

"Uh, hahaha, I'm good," Mark rubs his neck, "thank you for the offer, though, I appreciate it?" Mark’s dismissal came out more of a question than he originally intended.

Mark honestly has no idea how to respond, which seems to be a recurring theme at this point. He assumes that he’ll just have to get used to it.

"Well anyway," Lucas says as he flings himself back on his bed, "You can put your shit on that side. The dresser to the right is yours and there’s some extra storage under the bed. Welcome to Neo High, man.”

Mark later learns that the quiet boy with red hair was Taeyong. He also learns that they are all juniors with the exception of Lucas who is a sophomore and Johnny who is a senior. Although, that kid could definitely pass as a teacher. 

Mark doesn’t think they were bad people for smoking and that stuff; most of them were actually pretty chill and seemed pretty welcoming. It’s just, they didn't look like the kind of guys who would want to be friends with an awkward new kid like him. But Mark is trying to keep an open mind about this new school, so who knows what could happen? 

\-----------------------

"I swear to god Kun if I have to hear one more thing about how a 'gender-bent heathers would be perfect for the show this year's, I'm going to shove Johnny's pen so far up your ass that the musical will be the least of your problems," Doyoung mocks as he sits down at his usual table, barely controlling himself from strangling his friend for having terrible musical taste.

"What about mean girls? That could be fun!"

"Mean Girls is such a piece of shit Jungwoo. God how am I even friends with you guys, I can't wait to go to college." 

"Hey, take that back, Mean Girls was nominated for 12 Tonys bitch!!" 

Jungwoo can not believe his friend would insult the great Tina Fey like that. And HE is the one with bad taste? Unbelievable.

"And at least it is from this century and not written by some old white man denying how gay he was."

"Oh, shit’s about to go down," Ten excitedly mutters to Johnny, who obviously has no idea what they were arguing about.

"Ten, why are we sitting here when we could be doing stuff that’s much more productive than watching your gay theater friends fight about musicals?" 

Ten just rolls his eyes and laughs at Johnny. Sometimes he wonders why he agreed to sit with Ten’s theater friends. Johnny doesn’t have anything against them, but it’s just not his thing. Kun and Taeil were bearable, but Doyoung and Jungwoo always seem to be at each other’s throats for no specific reason. 

Johnny reminds himself that he’s a good boyfriend and if Ten wants him to make an effort to connect with his theater friends, how can he refuse? 

"So, what exactly are they even fighting about?" Johnny asks. 

He might as well try to understand the argument if he's gonna be stuck here till the bell rings. But Ten is too enthralled in the banter going on between Jungwoo and Doyoung to even acknowledge Johnny’s question.

"The musical is being announced today,” Kun interrupts. “They are arguing about what this year’s show is going to be. Well, they were at first. Now they are just insulting each other’s musical tastes.'' 

"Taeil, what do you want the musical to be?" Johnny asks as he turns to the quiet boy.

"Honestly, I don't really care as long as I can sing a powerful ballad."

"Bal-"

"It's a touchy-feely solo song basically," Kun explains before Johnny can even finish. 

But just as Johnny is about to speak, the argument between Doyoung and Jungwoo heats up quite a bit.

"This is exactly why twinks don't deserve rights."

"I might be a twink, but at least I can give a good blowjob you goddamn bunny rabbit."

"Hey! I give amazing blowjobs you fem boy bitch".

\------------------------------

A few tables over, Mark is very confused while watching the fight unfold in front of him. What are these two strange upperclassmen arguing about? Why are they comparing blowjob expertise in the cafeteria? And most importantly, what the fuck is a twink? 

Mark assumed the transition into Neo City High would be a bit tricky. Still, he didn't anticipate that there would be pretty boys yelling about blowjobs while he’s eating his breakfast. Suddenly the eggs and bacon in front of him seem a lot less appetizing as the older boys continue their argument. 

"Lucas, what is a twink?"

Lucas stares at Mark wide-eyed for a few seconds, blinks, and then starts hysterically laughing. Mark honestly doesn’t know what is so funny and just feels perplexed and frustrated. 

So much for that fresh start. 

The confusion is killing Mark at this point. To break the awkward moment, he would have asked someone else, but Lucas is the only person in the cafeteria who knows he exists. Well, Johnny and Ten were sitting at the upperclassmen table next to them, but that seems like a much worse solution. 

Mark looks over at Lucas, who is still giggling to himself while finishing breakfast. 

"What’s a twink," he laughs. "Hilarious Mark."

Mark sighs in defeat. A sinking sensation lows in his stomach in embarrassment, and utter confusion. It seems like he won't be getting a solid answer to his question any time soon.

\------------------------------

“Why are upperclassmen always so loud,” Jaemin whines over the sound of the older boys screaming at each other across the cafeteria.

“Jeno, who's the kid sitting with Lucas over there?” Donghyuck questions ignoring Jaemin's complaint. He is pointing at a shy-looking boy with black hair sitting next to Lucas.

“Oh it's Lucas's new roommate, Mark or something,” Jeno explains. 

“Who the fuck comes to a new school in January, especially a boarding school? God that must suck, I feel bad for the kid,” Renjun says as he sits down at the sophomore’s usual table.

“You know where he's from?” Donghyuck asks. He doesn’t know why but he can seem to take his eyes off this Mark kid. He’s kinda cute but he doesn't seem like the type of guy who would acknowledge Donghyuck’s existence. 

“No idea. Lucas quickly mentioned him at our morning workout but that’s about all I know.”

“God, you guys still do those? Isn't the football season over?”

Jeno looks up at Donghyuck from his plate of eggs with a very done expression on his face.

“Well you see Hyuck, the football season never truly ends. It’s like how you don’t just quit working on your singing, dancing, and acting skills when the musical is over. Besides, I have to show Coach Minho I'm committed to the team so I can become the first-string left end for the varsity team next year.”

“What?” 

“The fuck does that mean?” Renjun questions looking completely puzzled.

“Jeno, you should know by now that these theater kids know nothing about football,” Jaemin states planting a hand on Jeno’s shoulder and leaning in.

“Jaemin you don’t know anything about football either?”

“ACTUALLY, Renjun, for your information, I had Jeno explain football stuff to me and now I know everything there's to know, right Nono?” Jaemin asks with huge puppy eyes.

“Simp,” Yangyang mumbles agitatedly, not even looking up from the algebra homework he's been working on all morning.

\------------------------------

“Mr. Lee, Mr. Jung, nice of you to join us. Now tell me, what’s today’s excuse for being late to breakfast?” 

Everyone knows to avoid Onew when he is the lunch monitor. His punishments for being late tended to be ruthless. Taeyong and Jaehyun were only able to make it so far without being caught by their teacher. 

“Jinki, god leave the kids alone,” Taemin sighs, walking up behind Onew who is now very irritated. 

“Taemin you can’t just…”

“Go get you breakfast boys, and don't be late again, ok?” Taemin interrupts, raising an eyebrow at the frazzled looking boys.

“Thank you, Taemin!!” Taeyong and Jaehyun babble as they scurry away before Onew could say anything else.

The pair got their lunch trays, heads hanging low trying not to draw any more unwanted attention to themselves. Of course, that's hard to do when you come into the cafeteria looking like you got in some sort of fight beforehand. 

“Christ Yong, you look like you got mauled,” Lucas says with little shame “I feel like you should get checked out by a doctor.”

Taeyong and Jaehyun approach the table Lucas is sitting at with Mark. To be fair, Taeyong looks like some sort of spotted animal with all of the patches of brown and purple splattered on his neck while Jaehyun barely has half the buttons on his shirt done up.

“Are you guys together or something?” Mark questions before thinking. He instantly regrets asking as the two boy’s faces both turn a deep crimson red.

“Or something,” Lucas mumbles, shoving more eggs in his mouth.

“Nah it's just a casual thing,” Taeyong laughs embarrassedly, dismissing Mark’s question and picks at his bowl of fruit. 

Jaehyun shrugs it off as he buttons up his top. He then proceeds to bring his wrist up to his mouth and he takes a hit from his Juul, discreetly blowing the smoke back into his shirt. 

“Jae, how about you eat actual food,” Lucas mocks. “I heard Juul smoke doesn't have a lot of nutritional value to it.” 

“Dude it's mango flavored so it's basically the same thing as what Tae is eating,” he protests, taking another hit. He passes the Juul over to Taeyong who takes his own hit.

“Well, you're lucky. Coach Minho isn't on breakfast duty today. He wouldn’t be happy about you being late again.”

Lucas picks up his tray and abruptly leaves the table. 

So much for friends, Mark thinks. 

Lucas just abandoned him with the two upperclassmen he barely knows. Not to mention they just made a very unique entrance so now all eyes are on his table. An odd first impression is a memorable first impression, but not when the entire room knows about it.

“I haven't missed a single morning workout or practice in 3 years. Minho can kiss my ass if he isn’t able to handle me being late to breakfast every now and then,” Jaehyun grumbles, shoving a spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

“So Mark,” Taeyong asks, turning his attention to the younger boy. “How's your first official day of Neo High been going?” 

“Uhhhh it's fine so far. There's definitely a lot of, um, interesting personalities at this school.” Mark carefully places his words into a simple reply.

“That's what makes it so fun, or insufferable. It depends on who you're with, right Jae?” Taeyong turns to Jaehyun tilting his head waiting for a response.

Just as Jaehyun is about to answer, the bell rings signaling the start of first period.

“Mark, do you need help finding your classes?” Taeyong offers, getting up to return his tray to the counter.

“No, I think I'm good,” Mark replies quickly, wanting to get out of there as fast as possible. “Thank you though! Uh, I guess I'll see you guys later. And Good luck with your neck, Taeyong.” 

Good luck with your neck?! Really?! Out of all the things that could come out of Mark’s mouth, why that?! He immediately realizes how strange of a comment that is and runs out of the cafeteria incredibly embarrassed. Mark doesn’t even bother looking back to see Taeyong’s expression. Oh, he could only imagine. But there is one question Mark has yet to find an answer to as he follows the herd of students into the hallway. 

Where the fuck is his honors biology classroom?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What have we done? This was supposed to be a fun joke cause my friend and I wanted a chaotic NCT theater gays AU. Yet here we are 2734 words later posting our first chapter.


	2. Poor Guy's Head Is Spinning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little boring but don't worry, it gets fun soon ;)

(Chapter Word Count: 1720)

Despite the school's large size, it’s surprisingly easy to navigate. Mark is even able to find his biology classroom with a couple of minutes to spare. There are still a few empty tables left, so he knows he needs to act quickly if he wants to sit in peace and avoid any more awkward conversations. As Mark takes his seat and slings his backpack off his shoulder, he pulls out his cellphone in an attempt to look busy to the other kids. But of course, there is no signal or wifi. Great. 

“Give it back, Hyuck!”

Mark apparently can't seem to go five minutes in this school without seeing a fight break out.

“What is it with you art kids and never letting anyone see your sketchbook? Do you have something dirty in here? I bet you draw me naked all the time cause I'm so irresistible.” 

Mark curiously watches the group of rowdy boys cross into the classroom as the “art kid” desperately tries to retrieve his sketchbook from this Hyuck dude. 

“Hyuck just give him the book back. Why do you guys always have to be so loud?” another boy scolds. 

This third boy is tall with bleached blond hair and a strong square jawline. He has his blazer wrapped around his waist with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. How can a high schooler be that ripped? Mark honestly feels a bit intimidated.

“Fine Jeno,” Dongyuck sighs and returns the other boy’s sketchbook. 

Mark feels the boys turn their attention towards him and tries to look away. Shit. Maybe they were looking at someone sitting nearby? Nope, it’s just him. Mark starts internally panicking as they approach his empty table.

“Uh hi, my name’s Jeno. You’re Mark right?”

How did this kid know his name?

“Uh, yes. That's me.” 

Maybe he shouldn’t be so worried about Jeno. After getting a good look at the guy, the tension in Mark’s shoulders starts to loosen. It’s hard to be intimidated by Jeno when he’s giving him the cutest eye smile he’s ever seen and… 

“I'm friends with Lucas and he told me about you. Well, he told me your name and that you’re new. We're on the football team together.”

Somehow his smile widens, nose scrunching up, and Mark can barely see his pupils from how his cheeks crescent upwards to cover them. Jeno’s radiant smile is sweet as sugar and his presence is charming, making Mark wonder how a football player can be so adorable. 

Focus, Mark! 

“Oh, uh, that's cool. What position do you play?” Mark asks.

“Ugh, you have got to be kidding me,” Donghyuck groans as he pushes Jeno aside. “Hi!! My name’s Donghyuck and trust me, you do NOT want Jeno to start talking about football. He’ll never stop!”

Donghyuck had wavy caramel hair, glowing tan skin, and perfectly glossed lips. Mark thinks he’s pretty cute, objectively of course!

“Uhh, nice to meet you. I actually didn't know there was a football team here,” Mark says. “I've always wanted to play and followed the American League, but it was never an option at my old school!” 

“Well before I was rudely interrupted by Hyuckie over there,” Jeno responds, rolling his eyes. “I was going to tell you I'm the left end for JV, but hopefully next year I can be the varsity first string! I can definitely put in a good word to coach Minho for you too.”

“Oh my god Jeno! Can you pleeeease stop discussing football stuff? I want to talk to Mark too!” Donghyuck whines, shaking Jeno’s bulky arm.

“Hey, mind if we sit with you,” he gestures to the empty chairs.

“Oh uh yeah, sure,” Mark replies. “But I don’t want to take you away from your friend over there.” He gestures to the boy from earlier who is sitting in the back of the classroom with two others. 

“Oh, you mean Hendery? Nah it's fine, he's chilling with his art friends Xiaojun and Minghao. We just like to mess with him sometimes,” Jeno laughs wholeheartedly.

“Don't start getting the wrong idea about us Markie,” Donghyuck explains. “If it actually bothered Hendery, we wouldn’t be teasing him like that. Plus, he’s actually one of the more bearable people at this school.”

Mark makes a mental note that Donghyuck can be a bit bold, but for some reason, he’s oddly drawn to it. And he certainly doesn’t miss the sudden nickname Donghyuck gives him that makes his thoughts even more jumbled and confused.

“Good Morning everyone.”

Their teacher walks into the room, abruptly interrupting Mark’s train of thought. He prays that she spares him the typical new kid introduction. 

“Good morning Taeyeon,” all of the boys respond with the energy you’d expect from a group of tired teens at 8:30 in the morning.

Donghyuck and Jeno proceed to pull out their three subject notebooks and Mark is puzzled by the fact that Jeno’s is completely covered in stickers. 

“Not to be rude or anything, but what's up with your notebook?” he curiously asks.

Donghyuck giggles as Jeno awkwardly scratches his head. 

“Oh yeah haha. Taeyong does this thing when he gets really stoned where he likes to cover shit in stickers. It's honestly adorable but a little scary at times. Anyways, my bio notebook was unfortunately his latest victim.”

“I don’t get why you hang out with those drugees, Jeno. They are bad news.” 

“Come on, they aren't that bad. You know us football guys are close, so don't go making assumptions about what those dudes are going through, ok? You should know that better than anyone.”

“Fuck off, Jeno. I’m just trying to be a good friend and not get you arrested or kicked off the team.” 

Mark's eyes dart back and forth between the boys as the intensity of their argument begins to rise. His leg instinctively starts to bounce and he can sense his heart rate getting faster.

“Uhhh, so what materials do I need for this class? I should be fine for now but I want to be prepared, ya know?” he sputters out in an attempt to halt the forming argument. Whenever there is conflict, Mark's stomach does a backflip. But much to his relief, Jeno and Donghyuck turn their heads around, the tension seeming to lift from his question. 

“Well Taeyeon has us write a lot of notes, so all you really need is a spiral notebook and a pencil,” Jeno says, still sending Donghyuck quick glances.

“Mark, where are you from?” Donghyuck asks. It seems Mark isn’t the only one who wants to change the subject.

“I'm from Vancouver, Canada. What about you guys?”

“Well, Jeno and I are both from South Korea.” 

“Oh, no shit really?” Mark exclaims. “I’m Korean too, although I'm not very good at speaking. I've attempted it before but my mom always prioritized learning English.” 

Suddenly Taeyeon clears her throat as she strides to the front of the classroom, causing all of the extra chatter to come to a stop. 

“Alright, we are starting a new unit today, which is good for our new student, Mark. Speaking of which, Mark, why don’t you stand up and introduce yourself?”

Shit. So much for flying under the radar.

Mark’s breathing accelerates as a result of the class’ eyes burning into the back of his head accompanied by a couple of whispers. He stands up, eyes glued down at his black vans. 

“Uhhh, hello. My name is Mark Lee and I just moved here from Vancouver, Canada.” 

“Welcome, Mark! We’re very excited to have you here at NCHS. If you have any questions feel free to ask me or any of the boys here.”

Mark nods and sinks back down into his seat, desperate to evade the class’s prying eyes.

Taeyeon then excitedly claps her hands but quickly composes herself while pulling up a google presentation. 

“Ok, today we are learning about the evolution of underwater species. I hope you all are as excited as I am because we will be learning about my favorite animal of all time! The Boxfish!” 

\------------------------------

Mark spoke too soon when he said this school was easy to navigate. The bell is about to ring and he has no clue where his history class is. He’s frantically running, head twirling around the hallway in search of the right room. His eyes are darting from the schedule to the doors in the corridor in hopes of finding a match. At this point, the only people left outside are a few stragglers and upperclassmen. 

“Yo, you’re new right? Do you need help finding your way?” 

Mark jumps at the sudden voice and glances behind his shoulder. A boy strolls up behind him, wearing a bright smile. He has soft brown hair that hangs over most of his midnight black eyes. 

“I'm Yangyang!” he says enthusiastically, holding out a hand towards Mark.

“Hi, I’m Mark.” He shakes the boy's hand in return. 

“Ohhh, so you’re Lucas’ roommate. Well, welcome to NCHS! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. I just moved from Germany this fall, so I know how it feels to be the new kid.”

“Thanks, I really appreciate it.” Mark sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. “And actually, I’m trying to find my history classroom. Do you mind telling me where it is?” 

Mark shows his schedule to Yangyang and points to the room number. 

“No way!” Yangyang exclaims, bouncing up and down. “We’re in the same class! I can show you the way.”

The boys then sprint down a hallway to their left and barely make it to the door as the bell rings.

“Yangyang, just short of the bell again, I see?” The teacher says, obviously used to his tardiness. Yangyang quickly apologies and heads to an empty desk in the back of the room. The teacher turns around and notices Mark awkwardly standing in the doorway.

“Oh! You must be our new student Mark. I’m your history teacher, Heechul. Please take a seat in the second row right in front of Joshua.” 

Mark nods his head and looks to the back of the room. He meets eyes with Yangyang and mouths a “thank you” which is met with a double thumbs up and gummy grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooooo thank you so much for reading! It has only been 24 hours and we already have 70 hits, wtf?!?!? I hope you guys stick along for the ride, it's gonna be great! Also, we are revealing the Musical next chapter :)


	3. This Is What I've Been Waiting For!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyee!! (we ballin) We are back with a new chapter and the musical reveal! And more characters! Also 150 hits, wtf?!?! Thank you for supporting our weird theater kid fantasy, enjoy the chapter!

(Chapter word count: 1940)

Mark peers down at the small map he picked up at the front office as the lunch bell echoes throughout the hall. He's searching for the art room that Jeno and Donghyuck told him to meet them at earlier. He honestly can’t believe that he’s already made three friends on his first day! Well, they weren’t really friends yet, to be honest, but it still counts. Marks turns a corner and arrives in front of a room with two glass windows, filled with cartoon drawings that look like they came straight out of a manga. 

Suddenly, a cheery boy with light pink hair throws the door open surprising Mark. His crystal smile widens as he examines Mark from head to toe.

“Oooohh you must be Mark! Jeno and Hyuck were just talking about you, come in!” 

Before Mark can respond, the boy drags him inside. He recognizes two guys from his biology class sitting near the door. Three more are huddled together, drawing and finishing their homework in the back of the room.

“Well Mark, my name's Jaemin. I’m a sophomore, and Hyuckie is my best friend. Just thought I’d let you know,” he says with a wink and spins on his heel to address the rest of the room.

“Well boys, we have a new recruit,” Jaemin announces. “This is Mark Lee and it's his first day at NCHS. He’s a sophomore and just moved here from Canada!” 

For what seems like the millionth time today, Mark can sense everyone’s eyes to land on him. He feels a blush crawling across his cheeks from all the attention as if a massive heatwave just washed over the room.

“Hi,” he peeps, accompanied by a small wave.

“That’s Hendery and Xiaojun. They’re sophomores and are our two inseparable art hoes,” Jaemin states, gesturing to the two boys from his biology class. 

Hendery has fluffy brown hair with a natural curl in front. Xiaojun’s is ashy gray and he has the most intense eyebrows Mark has ever seen. 

Jaemin grabs Mark's shoulders and whirls him in the direction of the three unknown guys from before.

“That pretty boy right there is Renjun and, sadly, he doesn't like people so don't even consider dating him. I would know because I made that fatal mistake last year.” 

Renjun stares at Jaemin with a look of apathy on his face. “Wooow thanks, Nana, I really appreciate the introduction. I feel so loved,” he says sarcastically with a deadpan expression, turning back to his sketchbook.

“Anyways, next to Renjunnie is Yangyang. He's also new this year but moved from Germany back in September.” Mark quickly recognizes Yangyang as the boy who helped him find his history class as he gives Mark the same toothy smile and wave from earlier that day. 

“And then, of course, there’s our resident grandpa, Dong Shicheng. We just call him Winwin though. He's a Junior but is a real softie at heart.” Winwin peeks up from his calculus packet and shoots Mark a quick grin before diving back into the problems on the page.

“Guys, three more minutes!” Donghyuck giddily flings open the art room door with Jeno in tow.

“Holy shit!! Jaemin exclaims running up to Donghyuck as they clasp hands and bounce up and down childishly. “I completely forgot! Oh my god, this is so exciting!

“What’s happening in three minutes?” Mark whispers to Jeno.

“Oh shit, you don’t know?” Jeno asks. Mark shakes his head curiously. “They’re announcing this year’s spring musical and when auditions are being held. Hyuck and Jaemin are crazy theater kids so they have been looking forward to this moment all year.” 

“Are you gonna do the musical, Jeno?” 

“Somehow, Jaemin has convinced me to audition but I'm expecting ensemble at best. I can’t sing for shit but I can dance pretty well. You should do it too! It’s really fun, well most of the time when there’s not too much drama, but it’s a good thing to do after school. Not to mention the extra credit you’ll get.”

Mark can’t remember if his old school had a musical. He was always too busy with other stuff to actually care. Maybe he should audition. His mom always tells Mark that he sings like Frank Sinatra, whoever that is. Plus, she always did the musicals when she was a student at NCHS and would be crazy happy if he auditioned.

Before Mark can give Jeno an answer, a voice crackles over the loudspeaker followed by an excited squeal from Donghyuck and Jaemin.

“Good afternoon NCHS. This is your principal Lee Sooman speaking.”

Winwin rolls his eyes and Renjun gags at the introduction.

“The time has come for us to reveal this year’s spring musical. I will now be passing the mic to Mr. Kim who is going to announce the news you all have been waiting for.” 

“Hello everyone,” their teacher starts but is interrupted by a heinous screeching noise, causing everyone in the room to cringe and cover their ears. 

“Well looks like we’re off to a great start,” He chuckles. “Anyways, I'm Mr. Kim Kibum, but just call me Key, your stupendous performing arts director.”

The students can hear a faint sigh from Principal Lee in the background. 

“I have some very exciting news that I know many of you have been anxiously awaiting! If I could have a drum roll please.” 

All the kids in the art room pound against the tables with excitement. The floor seems to shake as they all bounce in their seats.

“I'm going to assume you all are giving me a drumroll, sooo this year's musical is……..” 

“Disney's Newsies!” 

Donghyuck and Jaemin let out the most high pitched scream that Mark thinks he’s ever heard.

“Auditions will be held next Thursday and Friday from 3-6 in the auditorium. You can find audition materials and a sign-up sheet on the cafeteria bulletin board and on the auditorium door. I can’t wait to see you all there! Get excited and remember to have fun! Thank you!” Key exclaims.

There are a couple of seconds of silence before the static of the loudspeaker fades away.

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!! NEWSIES OH MY GOD!!!! THIS IS AMAZING!!! I MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE A SHOT AT GETTING A SPEAKING ROLE THIS YEAR!!! HOLY SHIT JAEMIN!!! THIS IS IT, OUR BIG BREAK!!!” 

Donghyuck is absolutely ecstatic, shaking with excitement as he jumps in place like a five-year-old on Christmas morning. Mark thinks his reaction is a bit over the top, but everyone else in the room seems to share a similar enthusiasm. Even Jeno appears to be happy about this year’s pick. Then again, Mark is certainly not one to judge. He has no idea what “Newsies” is or why it’s such a big deal. Has he just been living under a rock his entire life or something?

“How do you think they are going to deal with the female parts? Maybe they’ll bring some girls from RVHS like they did a couple of years ago. Oh my god, I can't wait to learn the choreo. My 13 years of tap dancing will finally be put to good use!!”

Jaemin is speaking a million miles per hour, almost as excited as Donghyuck…almost. 

“I can’t wait to show off all my ballet and acrobatic training,” Winwin adds. 

“Ok but you all are forgetting how amazing the sets are going to look!!” Renjun exclaims as he looks into the distance, head already exploding with ideas. “I can't wait to figure out the lights!” 

“How complex do you think the sets will be?” Xiaojun questions. “I mean we don’t even have a tech director now that Leeteuk’s gone? ” 

Mark stiffly stands in the corner, still very lost. But, for the sake of not being put in another awkward situation, he doesn’t question anything. 

\------------------------------

“Guys! I can’t believe we’re doing Newsies!” Kun proclaims to the lunch table.

“Omg, this is going to be so much fun! Key better be prepared for me to cover you all in dirt and soot!! And I can’t even imagine what Taeyong is going to pull together for the costumes!!!” Jungwoo rants, clapping his hands together and showing the toothiest smile as he rocks side to side.

“Jack Kelly is going to be such a fun role to portray and it’s in the perfect vocal range for me!” 

“Don't get too cocky Doyoung. We can’t be sure about our parts until the cast list is posted. You know that.” Taeil states, shaking his head. 

Doyoung ignores his friend’s remark. He is pleasantly surprised by the selection, relieved that Jungwoo’s dream of a gender-swapped Heathers won’t be becoming a reality. This is going to be Doyoung’s year and he knows it. He’s got the advantage of being one of their school’s best singers and actors, plus the fact that he’s a senior. At this point, the lead role is basically being handed to him. Or who knows, maybe they will cast boys as female roles and he’ll get Katherine. Doyoung honestly would be content with either part and they certainly wouldn’t hurt his chances of getting accepted into a good college theater program. But most of all, he’s just excited to get back on stage. Doyoung seems to constantly be at war with all of his real-world struggles and anxieties. But when he’s in a theater, all of that is left behind at the stage door. It's like someone has taken their foot off his chest and he can breathe freely. Doyoung’s life is musical theatre and he would honestly be nothing without it. 

\------------------------------

“Well boys, it's good to see you all here,” Key announces. “It's been a long time since I have last met with some of you, and not long enough for others,” he glares at Sehun jokingly but the looks he is sent back to does not look very comical. 

“It's good to see you too, Key,” Baekhyun says. His whole teacher’s pet act seemingly hasn’t changed over the past three years.

“God Baek if you're going to be such a kiss ass to Key, you might as well eat his ass while you're at it. I’m sure you’re familiar with that sort of thing,” Chanyeol laughs as he pushes back on his chair. He proceeds to fall to the ground, landing on his own ass.

“Well, Karma’s a bitch Yeol,” he teases as Chanyeol gets up from the ground and rubs his sore butt, glaring at Baekhyun.

Key laughs as he watches his four old students with an odd sense of pride. He's so happy to see them together again, back their typical shenanigans. Honestly, Key is impressed by how wonderful they all managed to turn out, although that’s a sentence he would never be caught dead saying out loud.

“So Key, why did you ask us all to come back to this hell hole? I honestly thought I would never have to return once I graduated,” Jongin explains.

“Well, I gathered you all here to ask if you’d be the production staff for this year’s spring musical. Jongin would be our choreographer, Sehun would be in charge of tech, Chanyeol would be our accompanist, and Baekhyun would handle vocals and could be my assistant director.”

The four boys look hesitant, but being the money-needing college kids that they are, they all agree to join the team. 

Key has a good feeling about this year's show. He can't put his finger on it but with him as director and his old students in charge, he knows this show is going to go down in NCHS History.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :) Sorry for not posting in a couple of days. We have been super busy with school wrapping us but we have a lot in store! SO Newsies!! I would highly recommend listening to the soundtrack or watching the Disney live recording so you can get more of the references (like how the chapter titles are song lyrics). The next chapter is SPICY, kinda ;) Thank you for reading! <3
> 
> Also here's my twitter lol @V_Love_Everyone


	4. It’s a Crooked Game We’re Playin!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy. This chapter man, it’s something. There is ~spicy~ stuff kinda in here so beware. I hope you enjoy this feral chapter.
> 
> *Disclaimer: Make safe decisions when it comes to drugs especially if you are under legal age. Know what you are putting in your body and how it affects you. Don’t be a Puff Bar bitch like me :/*

(Word Count: 2604)

Mark mindlessly bops his head as his headphones blast into his ears at full volume. He fumbles for his keys in the abyss that is his messy backpack and opens the door. This time he's greeted to a smoke-free room, but it’s now occupied by a crowd of noisy teenage boys. Just his luck. Mark tosses his bag on the floor and flops onto his bed like a rag doll, exhausted from his first day. And if he’s lucky, Mark could get in a quick nap before dinner.

“I honestly don’t mind if I get a small part. As long as Key gives me creative control over hair and makeup, I’ll be happy.”

Mark is only half listening but he’s mildly intrigued by the boys’ conversation.

“Jungwoo, you do realize your existence puts the gay rights movement back a solid 50 years?” Taeyong scoffs jokingly. “If you weren’t attending high school right now, there’s no doubt in my mind that you’d be working at a femboy hooters.”

Mark can’t see what happens next, but he assumes it’s something along the lines of this Jungwoo guy hurling a pillow at Taeyong’s head. Mark accepts that he won’t be getting sleep anytime soon, so he decides to tackle the mountain of homework he has due tomorrow. As he sits up onto his elbows, Mark scans the room to see who he has already met earlier today. Jeno is sitting on the bed across the room with a textbook in hand while Lucas lies beside him, occupied with something on his phone. Taeyong is seated on the floor, leaning against the bed frame as he brings what Mark thinks is a vape up to his lips, letting out a puff of smoke. Jaehyun is perched next to Taeyong, head resting comfortably on the smaller boy’s shoulder. He reaches over, plucking the vape from Taeyong’s hand, and proceeds to do the same. Ten is deep in conversation with the boy they referred to as Jungwoo. Mark recognizes him from the cafeteria argument this morning from his elaborate eye makeup and flamboyant personality. 

“What's up sleepyhead. You gonna join us?” Johnny asks Mark as he pulls a white iPhone box out from underneath Lucas's dresser. He opens it, takes out a pod-like thing about the size of his thumb, and proceeds to plug it into the Juul. Johnny then hands it to Ten who gives his boyfriend a quick kiss in return.

“Let's do something fun, I'm bored,” Jungwoo pouts, stealing Ten’s Juul before he can take a hit.

“Wanna play truth or dare?” Jaehyun offers with a puff of smoke escaping his lips.

“What are we, twelve?”

“Well, does anyone have a better idea?”

All of the boys remain silent.

“Fine,” Jungwoo sighs, taking another hit. “It’s better than nothing I guess.”

“I don't know guys, I really need to do my history shit,” Jeno adds, looking a bit uneasy.

“Come on Jeno. It will be fun,” Ten leans over with a mischievous grin spread across his face.

“Uhh, I think I'm just gonna head back to my dorm. Bye guys!” 

Mark wishes he had left with Jeno as the group forms a circle on the floor. He can already tell that this is going to get uncomfortable from the growing pit in his stomach.

“Mark, you wanna play?” Lucas offers with a raised eyebrow.

“Um, yeah sure I guess so.” 

“Ohhhhh so you’re Mark Lee,” Jungwoo interrupts, sending Mark a flirtatious glance. “‘I’m Jungwoo! It's finally good to meet you, new kid.” 

`“H-hello,” Mark stutters, desperate to avoid eye contact with the sweet yet intimidating pretty boy. “Nice to meet you too.”

“Well, I guess I’ll go first. Truth or dare?” Jungwoo asks, not letting Mark escape his ardent stare just yet.

“Wait, Woo! We haven't even explained the rules yet!” Taeyong interjects, giving Mark a second to breathe.

“Oh, right. Well first of all, if you choose truth, you have to pick dare for your next turn otherwise the game gets too boring. And if you refuse to do the dare or lie about a truth, trust me, we will know. Then….” Jungwoo pauses and reaches over his shoulder as a pair of scissors are placed into his hand. 

“We get to give you a hair cut.” 

Mark swallows and takes a deep breath. He doesn’t have the best record when it comes to haircuts. He shivers as he thinks back to the bleached crimped look he tried out in middle school. It still scares him to this very day. 

“O-oh ok, I’ll pick the truth then I guess,”

“Rookie mistake,” Johnny laughs.

“Ok Marky, how far have you gone?”

“Like travel or the other… thing?” 

Mark can feel the heat immediately rush to his cheeks. He expected tonight to be awkward, but he didn't expect the game to escalate this fast. Mark isn’t some super innocent sheltered kid. He knows about this stuff…he just doesn't like acknowledging it. Especially in a room full of people he’s only met today.

“Like first base, second base,”Jungwoo counts on his fingers.“Third base?” He adds with a smirk.

Mark doesn’t understand how the rest of the boys in the circle aren’t even phased by Jungwoo’s question. It’s obvious that Jaehyun and Taeyong lack any ounce of shame and Jungwoo did yell about blowjobs in the cafeteria. But still, Mark doesn't think he’s ever met anyone as crude and forward as this group. It is a little exciting...but mostly terrifying. 

“I-I, uhh, I kissed a girl once at a school dance but that’s about it.”

“You’re shitting me right?” Jaehyun exclaims, looking genuinely flabbergasted by Mark's answer. “You’re what? 15, 16? And you haven't even gotten to 2nd base yet?! Jesus dude, I should lend you Tae for a night. I feel bad.”

“What the fuck, Jae. Stop pimping me out to underclassmen.”

“Alriiight moving on,” Johnny says. “Mark, who are you gonna ask?”

“Ok uhhh, Lucas truth or dare”

“Dare,” Lucas smirks.

“Do ten pushups.”

Mark’s lackluster dare is met with groans from the other boys. He continues to grow redder and he can barely control himself with all of the pent up embarrassment.

“God that's lame,” Ten adds while Lucas completes the challenge with ease.

“Ten’s right, but I might as well flex while I'm at it,” Lucas laughs as he flops back on the floor.

“Johnny truth or dare?”

“Dare, I'm not a pussy. No offense Mark, pussy is great.”

“Hmmm,” Lucas taps his chin deep in thought. “Kiss Ten for a minute straight but you have to keep eye contact the whole time.”

Johnny doesn't even think twice when Lucas starts the timer as he turns his head and grabs Ten by the neck, pulling him into a gentle kiss maintaining eye contact the whole time. Their kisses quickly become more aggressive and passionate as Johnny slides his tongue into Ten’s mouth. 

Mark knows he should look away from the intimate scene in front of him, but he can't seem to take his eyes off Ten and Johnny. He’s never seen two boys kiss before. How can they do it so comfortably in front of other people? 

Mark's thoughts are interrupted by a moan from Ten as he wraps his arms around Johnny's neck, pulling the taller boy closer. Johnny's hands roam down Ten’s back until they find his ass. Mark glances around the room and realizes that he’s the only one who seems to be uncomfortable with all this. He moves to adjust himself on the ground, desperate to find something to do so he can take his eyes off Ten and Johnny but he realizes… 

Oh shit, you have got to be kidding. 

Mark hates being a stupid hormonal teenager. The khakis definitely aren’t helping his little problem, but as long as he stays seated, it won't be obvious. Well, he hopes it won’t be obvious.

The timer suddenly goes off saving Mark and it seems to pull everyone out of their trance. 

“That was hot but really weird, no offense Ten,” Johnny says as he pulls away, brushing a hand through his messy hair. “Jaehyun truth or dare?” 

“Truth,” Jaehyun replies, taking a hit of his vape.

“Where's the weirdest place you've fucked?’

“Uh shit let me think. I've gotten a bj in my grandma's bathroom once but that’s about as exciting as it gets. When it comes to fucking though, my experience is pretty much cars, bedrooms, and bathrooms,” he says with a casual shrug.

“Your grandma's bathroom? Dude that's pretty badass. But I've gotten blown in an elevator so you better step it up,” Johnny taunts.

The night carries on with just as much chaos. Taeyong sucks a giant red spot on Jaehyun's neck while Ten admits that he finds the idea of being tied up very arousing, which to no surprise, drives Johnny insane. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg as Ten turns to Jungwoo with a devilish grin. 

“Jungwoo, I dare you to play seven minutes in heaven with the most attractive guy in the room.” 

Ten blinks curtly as Jungwoo’s expression flips from flirty to anxious. His eyes frantically dart around the room as he struggles to reach a decision. 

“Ummm Lucas….you mind joining me?” he softly asks. His confident persona has been replaced with that of an awkward teenage boy.

“Me!? You think I'm the hottest guy here? But have you seen Jaehyun and Johnny?! Like, I might be straight, but those two....” Lucas is rambling now, causing Jungwoo’s panicked expression to worsen.

“Look, I don't want to force you to do anything you don't feel comfortable with. I’m not trying to push stereotypes about gay guys being predatory towards straight boys or anything like-”

“No no, Jungwoo, it's fine, don’t worry. I'm just, genuinely surprised that I'm up to your standards. Yeah, you know what, fuck it! Let's go.” 

Lucas jumps up and grabs Jungwoo’s wrist. He lets out a yelp of surprise as they scurry to the dorm room closest, Ten and Taeyong close behind them.

“Ok guys I'm starting the timer,” Ten sings as he pulls out his phone and sets an alarm for seven minutes. Lucas slams the door and the two juniors eagerly press their ears against it.

The room is silent except for the small bumps and rustles coming from the closet. Johnny and Jaehyun seem to pay little attention though as they pass the vape back and forth.

“What is the pen thing you guys always have? Is it a vape or Juul or something?” Mark asks, curiosity getting the best of him. 

“Oh, this is a pen vape. It has weed juice or something in it. All I know is that it gets me high and is a lot easier to hide than a joint,” Jaehyun states, taking another hit. 

It doesn't smell sweet like Mark though vapes and Juuls were supposed to, it’s honestly hard to describe. As the clouds of smoke fill the room, the air begins to feel hot and heavy which makes Mark begin to sweat. 

“Oh,” he mutters. “So what's a Juul then?”

“Babe, pass me the Juul,” Johnny yells as he raises his arm. 

Not a second later, he catches a small black stick about the size of his index finger in his hand and proceeds to toss it over to Mark.

“You wanna try?” 

Mark can’t help but grip the small black box. He’s not stupid. Mark is aware of the health risks and that nicotine is addicting and shit, but… it's tempting. It's hard to describe the draw but honestly why not? It would just be one hit. Only one. 

“How do I do it?” Mark looks up at Johnny and Jaehyun, uncertain of what is about to happen. 

Jaehyun snorts as he exhales more smoke into the room. “Just put it to your lips and breathe in. But take a small breath, the first hit can be weird. Then, just blow it out.” 

That seems simple enough. Mark raises it to his lips, still a little hesitant.

“BEEP BEEP BEEP’

“Ok lover boys times up! Come out of the closet,” Ten calls. He doesn’t give them a chance to answer as he throws open the door.

The scene in front of them is a surprising sight, even for Ten and Taeyong who planned the whole thing. But it’ is a pleasant surprise nevertheless. Lucas is being straddled by Jungwoo who’s hand is dipping under his shirt as the two make out fervently. 

“What the fuck guys! You didn’t even give us a chance to respond!” Jungwoo screams as he shimmies off Lucas and combs his fingers through his tousled hair. Lucas, who is equally as embarrassed, scrambles to pull his shirt down. Both boys march out of the closet, not acknowledging each other as they take their seats back in the circle. 

“Johnny, what the fuck is Mark doing with my Juul?” Ten inquires glancing at the innocent sophomore boy whose eyes are open wide. “Because I know my amazing boyfriend would never try to pressure sweet pure Mark into doing something he doesn’t feel totally comfortable doing, right?”

“You know Ten, that’s pretty hypocritical of you to say since you just forced one of my very straight friends to make out with your very gay friend,” Johnny snaps back as Ten leans over and plucks the Juul from Marks hand.

“Whatever. Just let Jungwoo finish his turn, and Mark, sweetie,” he turns to Mark with a compassionate look in his eyes. “If you ever want to try any of this shit, that’s fine. But never, ever feel pressured to do so. If you are putting something in your body, make sure you 100% want to and always know the consequences of doing so.”

“Wow, thanks Ten. Way to make me out as the bad guy,” Johnny lashes out. 

Instead of getting upset, Ten leans over and wraps his arms around the older boy, planting a big kiss on his cheek. “I'm not saying you were making him. It’s just, you and Jaehyun can just be a bit...intimidating, especially to underclassmen.” 

Johnny sighs and pulls Ten into his lap. “Ok fine, you have a point. I’m really sorry if I pressured you Mark. I promise that wasn't my intention. And I'm sorry Ten for being a dick. I love you so much. I hope you know that.” 

Johnny returns Ten’s kiss as they cuddle closer into each other's arms. Jaehyun makes a gagging noise in the background.

“I know.”

Wow. How can a couple go from acting hostile to loving that quick? Mark always thought highschool relationships were stupid and all that ever happens is making out while watching Netflix. But Ten and Johnny seem different. They obviously do a lot of making out, but they have a connection Mark has never seen before. It sounds cheesy, but he can tell that they genuinely care for each other. And most impressively, they call each other out on their shit and actually listen, which most highschoolers are too scared or stubborn to do. 

“Damn, y’all making me bust the fattest uwus over here,” Jungwoo jokes as he wipes a fake tear from his eye. “Anyways, my turn. Mark, truth or dare?”

Jeez, Mark really can't catch a break today, can he?

“Don't I have to choose dare?” Mark recalls from the rules.

“Yeah, it just adds more suspense when I ask,” Jungwoo giggles with a menacing grin.

“Mark, I dare you to audition for the musical with us next week!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooooo that was a mess, but we are finally getting into the thick of it. Now that schools done we plan to post 2-3 times a week at around midnight. And we are considering changing the rating to mature cause of all the underage drug use and swearing, and the sexual stuff does get a little worse as we go along.
> 
> Also fun fact: the elevator and grandmothers bathroom thing were both based off true events that has happened to my friends lol;)
> 
> twitter: V_Love_Everyone


	5. We Got No Choice but to See it Through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :) Enjoy the chapter!

(Word Count: 2422)

Mark’s mind goes blank as he registers the dare Jungwoo gave him last night for the millionth time. They won’t actually make him do it right? Then again, Mark can’t forget Jungwoo’s menacing expression accompanied by a pair of scissors in hand, so he doesn’t want to test that theory. Maybe he could convince Lucas to go with him for moral support. Mark tosses over in his small twin bed and gazes at his roommate who’s sleeping soundly. He wishes he could drift off that easily but his mind is racing at the speed of light as he considers the different outcomes that could happen tomorrow. It's not like he’s against auditioning, Mark just never thought that decision would be taken out of his hands and into those of a pretty junior with scissors.

Maybe this is for the best. Maybe this is the push he needs to accomplish something out of his comfort zone. Mark makes a quick note that he should call his mom the next morning. Her soothing voice always seems to drive his nerves away. Who knows, maybe he’ll even get in!

\------------------------------

Yuta slinks in through the backstage door, hoping to draw as little attention to himself as possible. He plans on auditioning, getting ensemble, getting his credits, graduating, and finally getting the fuck out of this school. Easy enough. There was nothing that could possible way this could fail.

But when he turns the corner to exit the wings, Yuta realizes he spoke way too soon. Well, maybe the plan was a little too perfect. His eyes land on a boy with blond hair, his head bopping to music as he scrolls through his phone.

Holy shit, it can’t be him. The boy he met this summer had black hair so it must be a mistake. But his face had been ingrained in Yuta’s brain since that summer so there is no mistaking that is Dong Sicheng. 

Suddenly Sicheng glances up and the two boys look at each other with an intense stare. Fuck. Yuta’s lungs feel like they are shriveling up and he can no longer breathe.

He scurries behind the curtain so that no one could see his breakdown. He thought he would never see Shicheng again after what happened that day. He’d stopped coming by the convenience store and even blocked Yuta’s number. He even tried to go to the college campus Shicheng was attending for his summer program in hopes of apologizing, but he wasn’t allowed in the dorms without a pass.

How the fuck is this even possible?

\------------------------------

“Why am I here when you’re the one who was dared to audition?” Lucas complains as he and Mark enter the auditorium.

Mark is caught off guard by the number of kids who showed up. The thought of performing hadn’t even crossed his mind before now, but then again, what choice did he have. It was a dare after all.

“Because you’re a good roommate who cares about my mental wellbeing,” Mark responds, giving Lucas a cheeky smile. 

“Keep on telling yourself that.”

“Hey, it’s not like you’re going to get a role anyways.”

“Mark Lee!” Lucas fake gasps. “How could you say that to your good roommate who cares about your mental wellbeing.”

The two boys laugh, easing Mark’s nerves….but not by much. 

“Mark, you actually showed!”

Mark spins around to see Johnny and Jaehyun walking towards them.

“Haha yeah. I didn’t really want to come but I don’t want a haircut either.”

“Jae, Johnny, Lucas!”

A boy Mark hadn’t seen before approaches their group. He was very tall with a blond white mullet and bright red beats around his neck. What is it with this school and kids with dyed hair?

“Good to see you Yuta,” Jaehyun says, “What are you doing here?” 

“Same reason I assume you guys are. Extra credit.”

“Ahh, nice. Hopefully, we all get in or I'm screwed honestly,” Johnny states looking around for Ten. 

“Yuta never thought I’d see you here.”

Speak of the devil.

“Haha, hi Ten. But yeah, I’m barely getting by with enough credits to graduate, and knowing how disappointed my parents already are, I probably should keep it that way.”

“Ok, everyone!” Key announces. Lucas pointed him out to Mark earlier as the theater director. “I have a few quick announcements to make before we get started so please find a seat.”

As Mark sits down, he searches the sea of students for Donghyuck, Jeno, and Jaemin but he can’t seem to find them. He would have assumed they’d be the first people here.

“Yo Lucas,” Mark says, turning to his roommate. “What’s this Yuta guy’s deal?”

“Yuta? He’s pretty chill, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Well it’s like everyone knows him, but nobody knows him.”

Mark nods, peering over at the mysterious senior before turning his attention back to Key.

Key steps onto the stage, ready to address the crowd. But before he can start, he’s interrupted by the sound of the auditorium door being flung open.

"Sorry Key!” A very flustered Donhyuck yells as he, Jeno, and Jaemin all run to the nearest empty seats. Well, that answers Mark’s question.

“It’s alright Donghyuck,” Key playfully sighs, recollecting himself. “Wow, we’ve really got a big crowd today! Very exciting! For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Key and I am the performing arts director here at NCHS!”

Key could not look happier as he goes over how the casting works, what material the students will learn, and what they should expect for tomorrow.

“Now remember, just because we are going to make cuts does not mean this is a competition. If you do not make it in, there is always a spot for you on our amazing tech crew. Anyways, make sure to have fun and be yourself! That way we can learn more about you and put you in your best-fit role!”

“Bullshit,” Doyoung whispers to Kun who snickers in reply.

“Before we jump into warmups, I would like to introduce this year's production team! There might be some familiar faces for our upperclassman.” 

Key steps to the side as four men walk onto the stage. The first one is tall and muscular. He has blond hair with dark roots that falls over his face but is effortlessly brushed back by a sweeping hand. It's a very elegant gesture for such a well-built guy.

“My name's Jongin. I graduated two years ago and I’m majoring in dance but I focus mostly on ballet and hip hop, so I am the choreographer this year!” His smile lights up the room as he steps back making way for the next person.

Next to Jongin is a slightly taller guy with jet black hair and a resting bitch face to end all resting bitch faces. But his expression changes into a joyful smile as he spots Doyoung and Kun sitting in towards the front and waves to them.

“Hi everyone! My name is Sehun. I graduated from NCHS last year and I’m majoring in production design. I am going to be the tech director this year and I can't wait to work with you all!” 

Sehun has a very professional aura to him, he seems very passionate about his work. He also looks like the most mature out of the four barley men standing on the stage. 

The next guy is basically a giant with bright pink hair and an even brighter smile that was as radiant as the sun.

“What’s up, guys! My name’s Chanyeol and I graduated three years ago. I’m majoring in music theory and production, so I'm going to be your accompanist for the show!” Chanyeol looks giddy like a puppy and is cute enough to be one too.

The last person who steps up has platinum blonde hair and radiates boyish charm with a hint of mischief.

“And I, of course, am Baekhyun! I graduated three years ago and I’m majoring in voice, and before you ask, yes that is an actual major. I can’t wait to be your vocal and assistant director this year!” 

Key steps forward and holds out an arm towards the four boys. “How about a round of applause for the wonderful production team who came back to work with us?” 

Hoots and whistles erupt throughout the auditorium as everyone claps for the four guys.

“Jongin, marry me you hunky heartthrob,” Johnny yells over the cheering crowd.

“Sehun, impregnate me you sexy beast,” Jaehyun shouts, trying to one-up Kun.

The auditorium erupts with laughter while Sehun’s face turns beet red.

“Ok ok settle down,” Key says trying to settle down the snickering teens. He looks over at the freshmen as they stare back at him with wide eyes. 

“Let's try to keep everything appropriate, ok? We don't want to scare the freshman away just yet.” 

\------------------------------

The crowd of hyper teenagers moves onto the stage to start learning the dance combo. Ten pushes his way to the front, dragging a helpless Taeyong behind him.

“Alright everyone quiet down,” Jongin says standing in front of the group. Of course, no one is listening. 

“OK, time to quiet down everyone!!”

No luck

“Please quie-”

“SHUT THE HELL UP!” Baekhyun’s shout makes everyone freeze in place and immediately stop talking.

“Uhhh thanks, Baek,” Jongin says, scratching his head. “Alright, here’s the plan. I will start you all off with a quick warmup, followed by seize the day choreography. You all will learn the second section, but I will be teaching a harder combo that comes beforehand for those of you who want a challenge.”

Ten’s eyes light up when Jongin mentions the extra dance section. Now that all of last year’s senior dancers are gone, Ten can finally prove himself worthy of being a dance captain.

“Ok, start by doing your own stretches before I lead you in some cardio. Ready?” Jongin says as he starts playing Whipped Into Shape from Legally Blonde.

“OMG YES,” Ten squeals, enthusiastically jumping up and down. “This is my ANTHEM!!”

“What the fuck is this?” Jaehyun mutters to Taeyong as Ten scootches closer to downstage center.

“It's from Legally Blond, and it's actually not a bad song,” Taeyong explains stretching his arms and bending down to touch the floor. 

Jaehyun can't help but lean back a bit to check out Taeyong’s ass. I mean can you blame him? It’s a very nice ass, that’s for sure.

“Hey, Jaehyun! Less oogling, more stretching,” Taeyong scolds not even looking back. Jaehyun just shrugs and starts doing his stretches from the morning football workouts.

“Wait, isn't Legally Blond a movie? With whatever her name is? That hot blond actress?” Johnny asks.

Ten scoffs at his boyfriend as Jongin begins to comment on the freshman’s weak form in the background. He really has no mercy.

“How have we been dating for two years and I’ve never shown you Legally Blond?”

“Cause we were to busy fu-”

“LANGUAGE JOHNNY,” Jongin screeches as he pops up through the crowd of boys.

“We are in highschool, Jongin. These kids know what swears sound like.” 

“I am trying to create a family-friendly environment for everyone here Mr. Suh so watch your language, and you guys,” he points an accusatory finger towards Taeyong and Jaehyun. “Keep it in your pants during rehearsals please.”

Taeyong’s gaze immediately drops to the floor evading Jongin’s stare while Jaehyun only shifts his weight and smirks. 

These boys are going to be a handful, Jongin can already tell. 

“Alright, who’s ready for some cardio?”

“Ughhhhhh.” A chorus of groans sounds throughout the room.

\------------------------------

“Ok let’s review those last two eight counts,” Jongin says.

“Counting? I thought this was musical auditions” Johnny asks in a completely serious manner, as Ten almost collapses from laughter.

At this point, the only people who appeared as though they were keeping up with Jongin’s fast-paced teaching were Ten, Taeyong, Winwin, Donghyuck, Jaemin, and very surprisingly Lucas. Everyone else was scatter-brained and out of breath. 

“Step up 2, down, 4, ball-change, prep, shenae, shenae, plie, leap, and pose. Got it?”

“Dude, how can you pick this up so quickly,” Mark whispers to Lucas who is nailing the choreography with no problem. 

“I’m a linesman, Mark. We have to think and move quickly. Memorizing plays is actually pretty similar to learning dance moves.”

“Listen up everybody,” Jongin shouts, drawing everyone’s attention back to the front of the stage. “We’re going to run the number all the way through while filming so make sure you use this to practice for your dance auditions tomorrow.”

Most of the kids grumble in protest but follow suit once Jongin starts the music. Ten, Taeyong, Winwin, Donghyuck, Jaemin, and some freshman kid named Jisung had stayed behind during the break to learn the extra challenging choreography. Mark isn’t lying when he says that he’s in shock of how good these kids are at dancing. But if he’s being honest, he just can’t take his eyes off Donghyuck. The way he moves is so graceful, yet strong and bold. Mark is so engrossed with Donhyuck’s dancing that he almost misses his own entrance.

“Great work everyone,” Jongin huffs once the music comes to an end. “Don’t forget to run the dance again and get plenty of rest before tomorrow’s auditions.”

“Thanks for dragging me here Mark,” Lucas says as he offers a hand to his roommate who is lying on the ground from exhaustion. “It was actually really fun!”

“Fun isn’t the word I’d use to describe this, Lucas,” Mark wheezes, grabbing Lucas’ hand and standing up.

“If I’m being honest, I think torture would be much more of an accurate description.”

\------------------------------

Winwin can't stop thinking back to the auditions. He flips himself over in bed, replaying the moment he and Yuta met eyes in the auditorium. How is this possible? He has done everything humanly possible to be as far away from that boy, yet it seems fate is unfairly bringing them back together. Winwin pauses as he hears his roommate Jungwoo mumble in his sleep. Something about a pretty football boy?

But what if they both get in? Winwin can't possibly face Yuta for the next four months of rehearsal after everything that went down this summer. Yuta may not regret it, but Winwin has felt the pain and suffering every day since they last met. But Winwin is the bad guy to Yuta. The gay kid who fell for him during their casual summer fling. 

What the fuck is he going to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hheeheheh we're evil. Don't worry all the Yuwin tea is in the next chapter. 
> 
> Also btw there r two of us working on this. I'm V and the other one is M, she does all the editing and makes what I write not a mess.
> 
> We were talking the other day and realized that there could actually be a person out there who enjoys what we write and looks forward to us posting next. And that is fucking insane! If we can make even one person smile or laugh or just be happy from what we have written that is all we could want.
> 
> So if you are out there, a person who looks forward to us posting and enjoys our work. Thank you so much :) We really appreciate everyone who reads this!


	6. I Never Planned on No One like You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot so good luck. 
> 
> *Disclaimer: If you are underage please make safe and responsible sexual decisions. Make sure you and your partner are 100% on the same page and everything is consensual. Also, if you are underage and choose to consume nicotine products please be careful and safe.*

(Word Count: 2907)

The previous summer...

Winwin paces up and down the convenience store aisles, searching for snacks to bring back to his dorm before Daniel can scold him for taking too long again. He’s not terrible at Japanese, but he's nowhere near proficient enough to decipher all the forgien names on the colorful chip bags.

He trudges up to the cash register, trying to avoid the curious gaze of a cute boy leaning against the counter. “Sumimasen, Eigo ga wakarimasu ka?” he asks hoping his pronunciation isn’t total shit. 

“Yeah, I do. What can I help you with?” The boy responds in accented english with a subtle smile. 

“Oh um, I'm just looking for a snack but I can't actually read any of the food labels.” 

Winwin can't imagine how ridiculous he must look to the cashier, but how else is he supposed to get their food? Daniel is the better speaker but of course he is, “too busy practicing” to go. Winwin isn’t stupid though. He knows Daniel is just trying to get rid of him so he can hook up with Jihyo.

“I think I have a few that you might like,” the cashier says. “I’ll be back in a minute.” 

He slings the counter back and gives Winwin a quick smirk. Winwin sneakily peers around the shelf at the young boy. He has long blond hair and smooth fair skin with vibrant chocolate colored eyes. Winwin quickly jerks his attention back to the front of the store as he returns with two bags of chips, and tosses them next to the register.

“These are my personal favorites, this one is spicier and the other one is saltier.” 

“I'll take both, it's gonna be a long night.”

Winwin goes to pull out his wallet, noticing the boy’s intense eyes following his every movement. He then rings up both bags and gives the total in yen, waiting patiently as Winwin counts out his coins to give exact change.

“What are you up to that’s gonna keep you up?” he asks.

“I'm here for a summer dance intensive at the college nearby and we’re required to write a paper about the history of a traditional dance style of our choice. But since I procrastinated as long as humanly possible, I’m stuck cramming it all in tonight.” 

Winwin doesn't know why he’s being this open with a stranger or why he would even care, but it couldn’t hurt to talk out his stress with someone who’s willing to listen.

“Wow that sounds rough. Well good luck...” he pauses looking up to meet Winwin’s eyes for the first time this whole interaction. God, he needs to stop obsessing over this kid’s eyes. Then again, could you blame him?

“Sicheng”

“Yuta,” he responds and holds out a hand.

If only that had been their last interaction of Winwin’s summer, his would have been so much easier

\------------------------------

“Ow,” Winwin hisses as his head collides with the sharp metal shelf in the convenience store closet.

“Oh shit, sorry,” Yuta apologizes as he grips Winwin’s shoulders and moves to pin him against the door. 

Yuta returns to mouthing at Winwin’s neck, hands lightly resting on the younger boy’s hips. He smirks up at the younger boy when he leaves a blooming patch of red. He tries to recall how he got himself into this situation. It's honestly been such a blur. After their first encounter, he made an effort to visit the store whenever the cute cashier had a shift. That eventually turned into small talk as Yuta would ring up whatever new snacks he recommended for the hard night of dance practice or studying ahead. 

Winwin remembers all of that quite vividly but it gets a little blurry when he tries to recall how the nightly snack recommendations turned into makeout sessions and light petting in the cramped closet in the back of said convenience store. 

“My parents aren't gonna be home next saturday,” Yuta huffs pausing to look up at Winwin. “Do you wanna come over?”

Is he saying he wants to… with him? Anxiety fills his stomach making it feel as heavy as bricks. Makeout sessions and the occasional dry humping was one thing. But going to this guy’s house, without parents, just the two of them, alone. Winwin wasn’t stupid; he knew what that infered.

“Umm I'll think about it.” He replies dismissively.

The bell of the shop door can be heard and Yuta quickly combes his hair and straightens his little vest.

“Ok I'll see you tomorrow,” with a wink he leaves the closet and goes over to the register, like nothing ever happened. Winwin straightens himself out and quietly slinks out of the closet, only trading a quick glance with Yuta as he heads back to his dorm.

\------------------------------

“I feel sick,” Winwin leans the back of his head against the small closet wall, the salty taste still lingering on his tongue. He can’t tell if his sick feeling is his stomach's reaction to the new substance he consumed. Or the guilt of his actions making him keep down the bile rising in his throat.

“Here,” Yuta hands a bright red stick over to Winwin. “It's strawberry so it tastes pretty good. Might help you relax you a bit.” 

He examines it for a second flipping it in his fingers, then brings the side with the small arrow to his lips. He sucks on the stick till he feels a cough building then lets the smoke escape his throat. He can taste the artificial strawberry on his tongue barley overpowering the bitter taste from before, but it makes the back of his throat feel tingly and strange. 

“You, um, do have a little-uh right there,” Yuta says as he swipes his thumb over the side of his mouth. 

He begins to straighten himself out, buttoning up his blue vest. Yuta has this amazing power of instant recovery. Winwin usually finds himself in a sort of haze after their little hookups but Yuta can ring up a customer's order no problem, like he didn't just get a shitty blowjob in the closet. 

“So have you thought about Saturday ” 

Has he thought about Saturday ? Of course he’s thought about Saturday ! It's all he’s been thinking of for the past three days. But Yuta seems so nonchalant about it. There’s no way the older boy is a virgin, so it’s probably no big deal for him. Winwin has only kissed one person in his entire life and that person is standing right in front of him now in the dim light of the closet. For him, it’s a huge deal. If he’s being honest, he never thought he would be faced with this option, at least not this soon. Is he ready? Won’t it hurt? Would he be the bottom? 

Well he has the answer to one of those questions. 

“Im a virgin,” he blurts out.

“Yeah I figured,” Yuta chuckles and lets out a thick puff of smoke. “I mean, I just figured that was where this thing was going.” 

Truthfully Winwin hadn't really thought about where this was “going”. He is always the type to think everything he does through, but he wants this time to be different. Obviously newfound spontaneity was going to come back and bite him in the ass. 

“It’s just I don't know if I'm ready. This is all so new to me.” Winwin confesses honestly.

Surprisingly between all the closet sessions they talk, a lot. Winwin veiws Yuta as a genuine friend and enjoys his company with or without sex stuff involved. He has handed all his trust over to Yuta on a golden platter and has treated him well. Yet this conversation is new territory for him.

They casually talk about everything from music to snacks to dance. But they never actually acknowledged what they were doing, and akwoleging it makes both of them squirm in their places. The problem is Winwin’s always the one to give up information, he talks about his family, life experiences and school, and Yuta listens and nods and remembers it all. He gets vulnerable with him but he has never seen that side of Yuta. 

“I don’t have a problem with people having sex. I just don't know if I am ready to, you know, do it.” 

Winwin brings his knees to his chest and hugs himself, he feels embarrassed about admitting this to Yuta, he dosent want to be some scarred little virgin. But he is scared. What if he regrets it, what if something goes wrong? 

“I haven't fucked a guy before,” Yuta says. “But I've been with girls before so it won’t suck. But I get if you don't want to. It's your choice but I’ll try my best to make it enjoyable for both of us.” For a second, Winwin sees something he has never witnessed from Yuta. A sliver of genuine affection and care. He holds onto that tight.

The bell rings and Yuta pushes himself off the ground and reaches for the door, returning to the confines of his indestructible facade.

“What time do you get off Saturday?”

“Three.”

“I'll meet you out front,” Winwin says.

And with that Yuta exits the closet, leaving Winwin alone questioning if he's making the right decision or not. His brain is too foggy to decipher all the thoughts whirling around.

\------------------------------

Yuta unlocks the door to his apartment and Winwin steps in and immediately toes off his shoes. His stomach churns, as Yuta leads him down the hall towards his small living room and kitchen. He dosen’t know if his stomuch is doing somersaults from the anxiety filling him up or the lack of food in his stomuch. He feels it grumble as Yuta goes through his cabinet and pulls out some packets of ramen. 

“Hungry?” He shakes the packet in his hand.

“Um, I’m not really suppose to eat,” his cheeks are burning as Yuta looks at him in confusion. “Cause you know, um- yeah.” 

“Oh- OH, Right. I’m so sorry. We can eat after.” He packs everything back in the cabinets and leans against the counter as Winwin stands awkwardly in the middle of the room.

“You know you have nothing to worry about right? I’m gona take care of you I promise.” That bit of sincerity from early peaks through again and Winwin wishes it could be as calming as it was before. He gives Yutaa a reassuring smile, he wishes he could be as nonchalant about all this like him.

“So how do we start?” Do they just, go into it? Well obviously their has to be some foreplay. But how much? How does he know when it’s time to start, his brain swirls with questions and anxiety’s about every nuance. 

\------------------------------

That was it? Is his first thought as Yuta rolls off him. He gets up to tie up the condom and toss it into the trash. He returns to bed with a towel in hand and gives it over as he settles down next to Winwin. Yuta lies against his head board scrolling through his phone. Winwin stares at the ceiling, soaking in the moment.

“How you feeling? I hope I didn't like, hurt you or anything,” Yuta sighs reaching over to his nightstand, grabbing his juul and taking a hit. He hands it over to Winwin.

“No, I’m fine. It was good.” Winwin replies and takes his own hit. 

It feels surreal. He though his head would be spinning in circles like a high speed merry-go-round. He thought he would be a newborn person. But, he doesn't feel any different. In all honesty, he's a little disappointed. No, scratch that, very disappointed. He thought it would be more. 

He always imagined his first time as being sweet and intimate. His partner would lay him on the bed and give him reassuring smiles throughout and it would just be amazing, filled with love and caring. Winwin knows his standards are way too high. But he still felt disappointed. The sex itself was fine, but everything else about it wasn’t what he thought it would be.

“Hey Yuta,” Winwin turns to his side and Yuta hums a response. “Would you maybe want to like… go out sometime, like for coffee or ice cream or something?”

Yuta‘s expression changes quickly, “Sicheng, I’m not into guys.” He goes back to scrolling on his phone frowning.

“What do you mean?”

Yuta can't be serious right now. They have been messing around for almost a month and a half now, and he’s actually convinced he’s not attracted to guys? What the fuck has Winwin done?

“Look, you are awesome and I’m so happy we are friend, but it’s just that, friends with benefits. I don't mind if we continue to hook up but I'm not into guys, okay?”

Yuta is facing Winwin. Although he can’t even look the younger boy in the eyes. Winwin frantically swings his legs over the bed and shimmies into his boxers. He doesn't say a word as he gathers up his t-shirt and jeans, desperate to get out of this house. Yuta tries to block him from leaving, but Winwin shoves past, scurrying down the hallway.

“Sicheng, wait!” Yuta shouts and grabs Winwin’s arm.

“Let go of me,” Winwin snarls and breaks his arm free. He feverishly tries to shove his feet in his vans as fast as possible.

“Look, I-I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I thought it was just an unspoken agreement that this was just a casual thing.” Yuta is pleading now, regret lacing through his words.

“I knew what I was getting myself into Yuta, I’m not stupid. But I’m not going to continue anything with a guy so far in the closet he can see goddamn narnia.” 

Winwin is aggressively trying to untie his laces. Stupid double bows. He wants to be angry at Yuta for leading him on, for taking his virginity then saying he “wasn’t into guys”, but Winwin knows it’s never that simple. This wasn't really a situation where you could pinpoint blame on anyone, except the society that makes them both feel so ashamed of who they are.

“Sicheng, I never said you were stupid. But like I mentioned before, I’m not into guys. I'm sorry if I made you think that from something I said, but I do enjoy the time we spend together and I don't want it to end.” 

Winwin scoffs, so beyond pist he is just shoving his foot in his vans trying to escape as fast as possible.

“You know what Yuta, you did lead me on, because you were mouth fucking me in the closet for four goddamn weeks. I don’t know but that screams pretty fucking gay or bisexual or whatever to me!” 

Winwin feels tears rolling down his cheeks. Why was he crying? It's not like he's head over heels for Yuta; his feelings just naturally progressed as they did. He just can't sit with the fact he just lost his virginity to some guy he barely knows. What the fuck was he thinking?

“The worst part about all this is that I honestly thought you maybe liked me back. I trusted you, I let you touch me in places I never let any touch me, and I told you stuff I haven’t even told my friends back home! It’s not just about the sex, it’s about- it’s. I’m a fucking nobody, ok, at school I barley exist but you, you payed attention to me. You listened and remembered shit and I trusted you! But now that I think about this, it was all completely one sided wasn’t it? You never gave a shit about me, you just wanted to get off with, I can’t believe you would just use me like this!?” He’s sobbing now, the tears fall onto the floor and he can see droplets littering his jeans. He knows that lashing out at Yuta wont do anything. But he’s hurt, his heart aches, cause he just lost a friend, a really good friend.

He stands up with Yuta so they are almost chest to chest. “We all have to deal with our shit. I know that you're into guys, and I also know that you're only going to hurt yourself more if you keep on denying that. So please Yuta, for your own sake. Learn to accept yourself so no one else gets hurt.” 

Winwin wipes his eyes on his sleeve and gives Yuta one final glare. The once defensive boy looks broken. Tears are welling in the corner of his eyes and his body is shaking lightly like a leaf.

Winwin gives up and flings open the door. When it slams shut, he swears he hears a small “I’m sorry” from inside the house. His eyes are blurry as he hurry down the stairs of the apartment complex, he trips over his feet in the rush. By the time he gets back to his dorm his feet are aching, he didn’t think to check the bus schedule so he had to walk back to the dorms. His socks are stained red from the rough gravel rubbing against his feet the whole walk home. He feels raw as he strips his socks off and throws them in the trash. It hits him like a brick in that moment that he left his shoes at Yuta’s. 

This day couldn't get any worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, this chapter was SUCH a turning point for the story and has really shaped what it looks like bios . I remember writing it and showing it to M and we were like, omg I’m not a terrible writer?!?!? 
> 
> Also I’m sorry for the wait. I wanted this chapter to be as realistic as possible so I had a gay male friend read it over and had lots of discussion with him over the thought process Winwin would go through. I really didn’t want to romanticize or fetishize it like so much FF does. 
> 
> I really hope everyone enjoyed, we promise to ACTUALLy post twice this week :)


	7. Where Better to Escape Trouble than a Theater?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a biggy have fun :)

(Word count: 4535)

“Fuck, why can't I do this,” Mark grumbles as he grudgingly presses play for the millionth time that afternoon, putting every ounce of his remaining energy into the impossible dance sequence.

With every mistake, Mark can see his chances of getting into the show drift further and further away. Jongin makes everything look so easy, gliding effortlessly across the stage like an elegant swan. Mark, on the other hand, feels like an elephant. He can't get his arms and legs to move in sync and there’s no ignoring his loud ass feet stomping on the ground. 

Yes, Mark originally showed up to auditions because of Jungwoo’s dare. But now, he feels a newly lit fire burn within himself, pushing him to see this through. Plus, musical theater isn’t as bad as he originally made it out to be. Mark recalls talking to his mom about the decision he made over the phone last night and how enthusiastic she sounded. He has always been grateful to have her as a mother so now it’s his turn to make her proud. 

But no matter how determined Mark is, these eight counts don’t seem to be getting any easier. Mark attempts one of the turns but lands on his ass with a loud thump. Well, that’ll leave a nice bruise. He collapses onto the floor in exhaustion, slowly closing his eyes.

“Holy shit Mark, are you ok?!”

Mark squints and sees an anxious-looking Donghyuck hovering about him. Why was he here? Had he been watching Mark’s dancing? Suddenly he feels his face heat up with embarrassment. 

“Uh ya, I’m-” He starts, trying to push himself off the floor. But this it’s clearly a bad idea as Mark is once again lying on his back staring up at the harsh studio lights. He hasn’t even processed how tired he is until he notices the little stars dotting the corners of his vision. Not to mention the fact that all his muscles are throbbing from the lack of rest.

“Not so fast buddy,” Donghyuck chuckles, crouching down and placing a hand behind Mark’s head. “When’s the last time you’ve taken a break today?”

“Uhhhhh….”. If Mark’s being honest, taking a break hasn’t crossed his mind all afternoon. 

“God, you’re so stupid,” Donghyuck sighs as searches the room for a water bottle. “I didn't mean to interrupt you though. I just came to get my sweatshirt that I left here, but I guess it’s probably good I found you when I did.” Mark’s eyes dart to the floor. Donghyuck does have a point regarding Mark being stupid though. 

“A Hydroflask? Really Mark?”

“Shut up,” Mark huffs, snatching the black water bottle out of Donghyuk's hands. They both scootch so they are sitting next to each other, backs against the mirror.

“Hey, you were working on the Seize the Day choreo, right?” Donghyuck asks, slipping an oversized bubblegum pink hoodie over his blazer. It practically engulfs the smaller boy but he honestly makes it look cute. 

“Yeah, I just suck at dancing. For starters, I can't get up from the floor fast enough to start the arm swing thing but that’s just one move. And no matter how many times I replay the music I just can’t-” Mark’s frantic babbling is cut off by Donghyuck who places his hands firmly on Mark's shoulders as he stares intensely into the other boy’s eyes.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself ok? Everyone learns at different speeds. The key is to slow everything down and focus on each move at a time. Only then can you work on speed. It's better to be technical and slow than fast and sloppy. But I can promise that you are nowhere close to being a bad dancer.”

A look of surprise crosses Mark’s face, mouth dropping open slightly as his eyebrows raise in shock. Donghyuck stands up, laughing to himself. 

“Wait, where are you going?” Mark asks, looking like a stray puppy.

“Oh, um, I promised Jeno and Jaemin I’d meet them before the lunch block is over.”

“O-ok. That’s cool!”

Donghyuck hesitantly places a hand on the practice room door. Jaemin’s never gonna let him live this little crush he seems to be developing down. But he can deal with Jaemin’s teasing if it means spending more time with Mark.

“You know what,” Donghyuck says, spinning around. “I’m gonna help you nail this dance audition.”

“What?!” Mark exclaims as his head shoots up with a wide-eyed look of confusion. “You don’t have to do that, I’ll be fine on my own and I don’t want to take up your time.”

“No! I mean, I want to. Plus, I always dance better when I break down the steps for someone else.”

“Well…if it helps you, I’m down!”

“Alright Markie. Can you stand up?” Donghyuck asks, holding out his hand. 

Mark rolls his eyes at the nickname but grabs it. 

“Yes, I’m fine.”

When Mark presses play, it’s no longer accompanied by the usual wave of dread. He has Donghyuck with and that’s more than enough for now.

“Aight, let's get it!”

“Please never say those four words again Mark.

\------------------------------

“I swear to fucking god. Why can't this bitch ever respond to his texts?” Baekhyun drags Jongin down the hallway, shoving his phone into his back pocket. 

“Why would he be in a practice room?” Jongin questions, twisting his wrist to escape Baekhyun's grip. 

“He likes to be alone when he does his techie stuff. Plus, no one’s ever in here anyways.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble Baek, but it looks like some kids are already in there.” Jongin points a finger through the glass door at two students diligently rehearsing the Newsies choreography. The mirrors reflect the boys' conviction as they repeat each step over and over, never giving themselves more than a thirty-second break. Not only that, but there is an ease to their interactions; quick messages of assurance and critique are passed back and forth, always followed by a smile or small blush.

“Ah, young love.” Baekhyun coos clasping his hands together. “I remember the good old days of hooking up in the costume closet, quickies in the boys bathroom, and trying to cover up hickeys with shitty CVS concealer.” 

Baekhyun gets too caught up in his reminiscing to notice that the boys have collapsed on the ground.

“Shit Baek are they ok?!” Jongin exclaims.

“I don’t know but I think we should make sure that they’re not hurt.” 

Baekhyun breaks into panic mode, ready to kick down the door at a moment’s notice. But he and Jongin both sigh in relief when they hear the ringing of laughter.

“No words Baek, no words,”Jongin says, shaking his head as they watch the two boys get back up and rewind the music yet again.

“Do you know who they are?” 

Baekhyun recalls that they are both sophomores, Lee Donghyuck and Mark Lee. Donghyuck appears to be quite a good dancer while Mark on the other hand could use some improvement. He was far from the worst Jongin saw during the first meeting. Then again, seeing the boy's dedication makes him think very highly of Mark.

“They have good chemistry too. What parts did you have in mind for them?” 

“I don't know. They are underclassmen so probably just an ensemble role.” 

Jongin huffs and purses his lips, not satisfied with Baekhyun's quick response. 

“Buuut I will admit, my curiosity has peaked a bit. I think I’ll have a more concrete answer after their vocal auditions tomorrow.” 

Baekhyun twirls around and whips out his phone checking to see if Sehun has responded to his text for the millionth time that afternoon.

\------------------------------

“Okay, we’re jumping right into vocal warmups today!” Key announces, cutting right to the chase. “Everyone please gather around the piano.” 

Baekhyun leads the group through some scales and other dumb theater warms ups (according to Johnny) as anticipation and anxiety fills more of the room with each passing minute. 

Mark can’t help but rock back and forth as his nerves jolt through his body. His mind is anywhere but an auditorium full of singing high school boys. Lucas on the other hand appears to be completely fine. After all, he could care less if he gets into the show or not. At this point, he’s just sticking around to provide Mark with moral support. 

Mark’s eyes wander up and he meets the curious gaze of Donghyuck, who's standing on the other side of the stage with his group of friends. He gives the boy a small wave and smiles, mouthing a quick “thank you for earlier.” Donghyuck smiles back and responds with “no problem.”

“We still need a few people for vocal auditions but everyone else can just rehearse the dance sequence with Jongin in the meantime. I’m sure he’s more than happy to help anyone who needs,” Baekhyun says, planting a hand on Jongin's shoulder and giving him a smug grin. He proceeds to whip out a clipboard from his bag and his eyes scan down the list of auditioners.

“Alright, up first is Mark Lee.” 

Mark raises his head, realizing it's his turn. His legs feel like jelly as he maneuvers himself through the crowd and follows Baekhyun into a small music room. He fiddles with the hem of his sweater and bites his lip, watching the two directors sort through a pile of papers.

“Okay, when you're ready, just tell Chanyeol and he’ll give you a three-count pickup.” 

Baekhyun plops down into a chair next to Key. Both of them have clipboards and pens in hand, Key already scribbling something down in his notes.

Mark gulps and takes a moment to recall Donghyuk’s advice about making sure that he’s using his breath from his diaphragm. Wait, what was the other thing he said? Something about taking a breath when you see an upside-down comma thingy? Yeah, that sounds about right. 

Mark closes his eyes and inhales; in for five out for five.

“Alright, I’m ready.” 

Chanyeol counts to three then starts playing the music. Shit. He misses the count in. Great.

“I’m so sorry!” Mark stammers, breaking into a sweat, his heart threatening to burst forth from his ribcage. He is barely still afloat in the sea of embarrassment washing over him.

“No, no it's fine!” Chanyeol assures. “I'll just count you in again when you're ready. Take a breath, okay? You will do great, I know it.” 

Chanyeol's words are soothing for Mark's anxious brain but the shallow uneven breaths do not dwindle. He tries to relive the feeling he would get when his mother used to soothe him during a panic attack. When she whispered in his ear, it was always soothing and dried up his tears like a lake in a drought. Her melodic words bring Mark’s breath back to a steady tempo and remind him that he is ok. 

He is safe. He can do this.

“Okay, I’m all good thanks.” 

“You are safe. You can do this,” Mark whispers to himself, imagining as if it was his mother saying it to him.

“1, 2, 3.”

“Ain’t it a fine life carrying the banner through it all….” 

\------------------------------

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow, turning towards Key who looks just as flabbergasted. This kid has some real natural talent. His tone is well supported and he hits the notes like a hammer striking the head of a nail. Mark’s breathing could use some work, but it's obvious he hasn't had any professional voice lessons. Then again, that’s nothing Baekhyun can’t fix with a little one on one time.

“Mark Lee, huh?” He thinks to himself with a slow nod. The name seems familiar but Baekhyun just can’t remember where he’d heard it from OH! He's the kid from the practice room! Maybe Jongin was right about his quick judgments. 

Key nudges Baekhyun and shows him his notes. ‘I want to see the Santa Fe final note' is underlined and written boldly next to Mark’s name. Baekhyun nods in agreement, getting the message as they both move their attention back to Mark. 

\------------------------------

“Lee Donghyuck.”

“Wish me luck boys.” Donghyuck blows a kiss towards his friends and skips over to Baekhyun, music in hand.

“Hello! My name's Lee Donghyuck, and I am a sophomore.” He makes sure to address the two directors enthusiastically, which they both accept with wide smiles. Donghyuck then instinctively turns to face Chaneyol who is sitting at the piano. 

“Okay, Donghyuck, I'll give you a count of three then you can start at the pickup. Just tell me when you're ready.” Chanyeol gives him a smile then shuffles the sheet music.

“Ready.”

“1, 2, 3.”

“Ain’t it a fine life carrying the banner through it all….” 

\------------------------------

Baekhyun automatically makes note of Donghyuck’s professionalism. He takes a quick look at the boy’s resume and notices that he participated in a summer broadway intensive. Well, that explains a lot. Baekhyun knows he should be writing more comments, but he can't help but close his eyes and take in the kids' voice. It's high pitch, but can be as soft as a simple breeze and hard as a massive gust of wind at others. Donghyuck also has amazing control for a 15 year old and makes every note seem effortless. Impressive. ‘Spunky and soft’ Baekhyun jots down as Donhyuck finishes up the last measure. 

\------------------------------

“Alright! Everyone grab a number and line up!”

At this point, Mark can’t tell if Jongin is a dance teacher or a drill sergeant. But he instinctively follows the herd of boys anyways to find a number, attempting to push down the large pit in his stomach. Mark knows he won’t survive two minutes if he has to dance alongside Ten or Taeyong. Soon enough, everyone is lined up in number order, anxiously awaiting for Jongin’s next command. Mark rocks back onto his heels and fiddles with his tag, brandishing a big black 8 in the middle. Donghyuck is standing to his left with perfect posture and is radiating confidence. 

“Hey,” Mark whispers to Donghyuck, hoping to lighten the mood. “Are you sure this is a dance audition and not an execution?”

“I mean what’s the difference?” Donghyuck giggles.

“LISTEN UP!”

“Good luck Mark!” Donhyuck sends him a toothy smile. He feels a small wave of reassurance wash over him from his friend’s encouraging words. 

“You too!”

Jongin slowly begins to pace in front of the boys, looking them up and down with his terrifying stare. “This is how today is going to work. All of you who learned the advanced combo, stay on stage. Everyone else, find a seat and watch until I call you back. Got it? Good!”

Mark hurriedly grabs a spot next to Jeno and Lucas and observes the seven remaining boys with bated breath. Ten, Taeyong, Doyoung, Winwin, Donghyuck, Jaemin, and a singular brave freshman with orange have stayed behind, standing tall with concentrated looks plastered onto their faces. 

“Ok, when I call your number, move to the spot that I assign you. Number one, downstage left.”

Ten confidently strides across the stage, clearly in his element.

“Number two, upstage middle.”

An anxious-looking Taeyong scurries to his spot behind Ten, playing with the hem of his shirt.

“Number three, downstage middle.”

Winwin is the next boy to go and even though the dance has not started, he is walking with the grace and elegance of a ballet dancer.

“And finally, number four, upstage right.”

Doyoung is the last one to be called. He may not be the best dancer in the room, but he certainly doesn’t show it.

“You three that are left will be next so please wait in the wings. Ready?”

They all nod their heads in response. The music abruptly starts and all four boys immediately snap into character with big smiles on their faces. To no surprise, Ten’s skill is on another level. His turns and leaps are honestly higher than Mark’s grades. Winwin is not far behind as he smoothly glides through space, making the dance seem completely effortless. And while Doyoung may not have the best technique, he makes up for it with personality and energy. The boy who surprises Mark the most though is Taeyong. The once nervous boy has become a complete beast onstage, powerfully hitting every move with a look of conviction on his face.

“Wonderful job!!” Jongin exclaims, clapping his hands together. He is grateful to have such good dancers in the cast, that way he can add plenty of complex moves to each number. “Next three boys, you’re up.”

\------------------------------

“1, 9, 16, 20, 25, and 32, find your positions and state your names.”

Mark lets out a sigh of relief that Jongin has not yet called his number, although he is very much aware that he can not escape his fate. All of the featured dancers have finished their session meaning it was time for everyone else to dance.

“Ten” 

“Minghao”

“Felix”

“Jun”

“San”

“Hansol”

Jongin gives the boys a nod of confirmation and plays the track. Mark feels like he is being enveloped in his worry, so he turns to focus towards the dancers on stage. He notices the way Ten extends his limbs and how his chin is slightly tilted upwards, both subtle yet crucial parts of executing a good dance performance.

“Wonderful job boys!” Jongin exclaims. “Let me have 5, 15, 18, 24, 30, and 35.”

“Shit bro, I’m 35,” Lucas curses, shooting Mark a worried glance.

“Hmmm, what happened to the Lucas who doesn’t care about the musical and is just here for moral support?” Mark questions, cocking his eyebrow.

“Shut up.” Lucas playfully punches Mark’s shoulder and darts on stage.

“Jisung”

“Dino”

“Hyunjin”

“Seungkwan”

“Wooyoung”

“Lucas”

Jeno starts clapping and stomping for his friend but promptly stops when the whole audience turns and stares at him. He slides down in his seat, cheeks burning as Mark holds in a snort.

Lucas does quite well which surprises most of the audience but Mark can’t take his eyes off the orange-haired freshman who is giving Ten and Taeyong a run for their money.

“How’d I do?” Lucas pants as he makes his way back to Mark and Jeno.

“Absolutely appalling,” Mark jokes, making a gagging gesture.

“Oh like you can do any better Lee.”

“Alright, can I have 8, 14, 11, 21, 29, 34? And hurry up, I have a date right after this so there is no way we are going overtime,” Jongin snaps.

“Chenle”

“Hoshi”

“Johnny”

“Chan”

“Jungwoo”

An awkward silence suddenly falls over the room. “Wait,” Jongin interrupts, scanning down his clipboard. “We have an open spot. Who is number eight?” He looks over the crowd as the five boys stand stiffly on stage just as confused. Whispers flow through the audience and Mark cranes his neck to see who the missing dancer was. 

“Dude,” Jeno hisses. “You’re eight.”

Fuck

“I-I’m so sorry!” Mark babbles as he springs out of his chair and throws a leg over the seat. And just when it seemed that things couldn’t be going any worse, his foot gets caught on the chair and he stumbles into the aisle with the whole auditorium's eyes glued on him. Well isn’t today just his lucky day.

“Sorry about that,” he stammers and spots Lucas cringing in his seat. “Um, I’m Mark.” 

This is a nightmare that Mark is more than ready to wake up from. He puts his face in his hands and shakes it back and forth. He can hear Lucas and Jeno holding in cackles at his mess of an audition. Mark can feel the curious gaze of someone else land on him and he slides his fingers apart to look out at the audience. He locks eyes with Donghyuck who gives him a big thumbs up and goofy smile. Mark takes a deep breath and thinks back to the way he was feeling when he and Donghyuck were in the practice room together. The music starts a moment later and he goes into a trance, repeating the moves he has practiced a million times.

\------------------------------

“Holy shit Mark! That was the best I’ve seen you do!” Donghyuck envelopes Mark into a tight embrace, making Mark’s stomach drop a bit at the physical contact.

“Uhh thanks, Donghyuck,” he says, awkwardly returning the hug. “You did amazing too!” 

“Aww, thanks. But seriously, you killed it out there. I can’t believe how much you have improved.”

“I mean I appreciate the compliments but if we’re being honest, I was a complete joke up there.” Mark breaks the hug and notices Donghyuck’s sour expression. “What? Did I say something wrong.”

“Mark, look at me. I saw you dancing in the practice room and I know how hard you worked. You did just as good if not better than most of the kids today.”

Mark nods through short staggered breaths, staring into Donghyuck’s ebony eyes.

“Ok Mark?” he says squeezing his hands.

“Ok.”  
\------------------------------

“Hey, isn’t that kid who forgot his number the one we were discussing earlier?” Key asks. “Mark Lee right?”

“Yes, he’s the one,” Baekhyun responds. “Now that you mention it, Jongin and I found him and Donghyuck rehearsing the dance during their lunch block this afternoon.”

Key grins as he jots a few more notes down on his clipboard. He can’t help but have a good feeling about this Mark kid.

\------------------------------

“Shicheng!” 

Winwins pace quickens, desperate to evade the footsteps that are growing louder behind him.

“Hey, why are you running from me.” Yuta reaches out to grab his arm but Winwin shakes his way out of the boy’s clutches, bolting towards the door so he can make his escape. But Yuta manages to slip in between him and the exit.

“Get out of my way, Yuta,” Winwin growls.

“I just want to talk.” Yuta stands tall, feet rooted into the ground until he receives the answer he wants. 

“I have nothing to say to you, now get out of my way.” 

What could he possibly say? Hey, have you finally dealt with that internalized homophobia and are ready to apologize for literally fucking me over? Life isn't that simple, Winwin is well aware of that. So if Yuta thinks he can get him back after the shit he pulled over the summer, that kid really is delusional. Must be nice living in a fairytale. 

“Look, I just wanted to say I’m really sorry about what happened over the summer. I should have been more clear from the beginning that I wasn't you know….that was on me.” He looks defeated but Winwin calls bullshit.

“You're kidding me, right?” he scoffs. “You can’t even say the word gay. How could I possibly forgive you? Honestly, I just feel bad for you.” 

Winwin feels a twinge of regret about being so harsh towards the other boy. Winwin knows it is not easy to accept your identity especially assuming that he might not have grown up in a society and a family that is very accepting. But even when Winwin was figuring out his sexuality, he never hurt other people. And Yuta hurt him. Bad. 

“Trust me, Shicheng, I like girls.”

“You know, you could be bisexual or pansexual. There’s nothing wrong with that. I mean I know plenty of kids who are both!” He lays a hand on Yuta’s shoulder trying to push down all his anger and show the guy some compassion. Winwin knows the storm of clashing thoughts running through Yuta’s head very well so the least he can do is to reach out before he drowns.

“It's tough, I get it Yuta. Trying to figure out your sexuality and learning to accept yourself is so fucking difficult, especially with everyone trying to mold you into who they think you should be. But there are amazing people at this school who are out, proud, and are ready to support you. It's going to feel like shit, there’s no sugarcoating that part. But you’re going to have to sacrifice some of your security and normalcy if you want to be truly happy with who you are.” 

Winwin looks up at Yuta who is staring down at the ground. His bangs have flopped over his eyes like a shield.

“I'm sorry,” Yuta softly whimpers. “I'm so sorry.” As he looks up, Winwin can see the boy’s tear-stained cheeks and his bloodshot eyes. Winwin doesn't say anything as he pulls Yuta into a tight embrace. Now that he thinks about it, they have never hugged before, yet it feels like the most intimate thing the pair has done. 

Yuta begins weeping into Winwin’s shoulder and he can feel a wet spot on his collared shirt begin to grow. Winwin rubs circles into Yuta’s back and combs a hand through his hair, trying to get the boy to take deep breaths.

“I-I haven’t s-stopped,” Yuta pauses trying not to hiccup in between his words. “Th-thinking ab-bout you.” Winwin’s heart shatters and he pulls Yuta closer into his chest. 

“Shhh, you don't have to say anything until you have calmed down,” Winwin coos, “You’re safe with me,” he pauses, struggling to hold in the tears threatening to spill from his own eyes. “Everythings going to be okay.”

But Winwin can only last another minute before breaking down himself. They stand there in each others’ arms, crying and smothering each other in a hug of snot and tears. Once their sobs give way to the quiet humming of the air vents above their heads, the boys walk back to the dormitories, neither one brave enough to utter the first word. 

“Ya know,” Winwin offers, stepping into the elevator. “You’re welcome to hang out in my dorm room. Not to do anything of course! Just so you can rest until you feel stable.” His roommate Jungwoo is almost never back until after dinner so they would be able to spend some time alone.

“Uh, yeah that sounds nice.” Yuta’s voice is shaky and he can hear the boy's breath hitch from getting caught in his lungs. They trudge out onto the junior dorm floor and quietly open the door to Winwin’s room. Both of them awkwardly stand across from one another, not sure of what to do next. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

“You wanna take a nap? Or is that too weird? I get if you don't want to…” Winwin trails off trying to clear the tension in the air. 

Yuta nods his head and they lay next to each other on the bed, his hands resting on Winwin’s sides who folds them into his stomach. The familiar silence hangs in the air like a thick cloud as Winwin stares aimlessly at the ceiling. He can feel a hand slowly snake over his chest and pull his hands apart, fingers instinctively interlocking as they gently wrap around each other. Yuta flips his body so that his back is pressed against Winwin's chest. He holds the boy tighter and can't help but let a smile fix itself on his lips as Yuta gives his hand a gentle squeeze. That is the last thing Winwin remembers before they both fall into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much to say, so little time lol.
> 
> One, sorry (again) for taking forever to post we will post again on Thursday and hopefully again on the weekend.
> 
> Two, the baseball series nct is doing is like killing me. M and I have always been avid markhyuck shippers but damn, Yumark is destroying me. M said we might not be friends cause of this change of heart rip.
> 
> Three, Telephone from EXO-SC AHHHH, Yeol's my ult and I am DYING, the song slaps and Yeol with purple hair 😭
> 
> ANyway, thank you for reading, and witnessing my breakdown over Southeast Asian men. Hope you enjoyed the next chapter, thank you for all the love and support!!


	8. We're Doing Something No One's Even Tried And, Yes, We're Terrified

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very long chapter but hope you enjoy :)

(Word Count: 4414)

“God, I can't stand this,” Doyoung mutters, glancing at the clock for the millionth time today.

“Don’t you think you’re being a bit dramatic?” Kun bites into his sandwich and nudges Doyoung. “We all know you’re going to get a callback and I think you do too. I mean, you said it yourself, you’re basically guaranteed a lead cause you're a senior. Isn’t that right Doyoung?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Wait,” Johnny interjects. “What is going o-”

“Shit, he’s coming!” Doyoung springs out of his seat and races towards the bulletin board where Key is headed, paper in hand. 

Murmurs bounce off the cafeteria walls as a crowd begins to gather behind him. Doyoung frantically pushes through the sea of boys and scans the piece of paper as if his life depended on it.

\------------------------------

Neo High Newsies Callbacks

Kim Doyoung  
Quain Kun  
Moon Taeil  
Jung Jaehyun  
Lee Taeyong  
Dong Shicheng  
Lee Donghyuck  
Mark Lee

Please come to the auditorium at 3:00 pm Wednesday

\------------------------------

The cafeteria erupts with a mixture of chatters, squeals, and disappointed groans. Doyoung confidently struts back to his table, content with his, Taeil, and Kun’s success. Although, there were a couple of names that he hasn’t seen before. Lee Donghyuck and Mark Lee? Wasn't Donghyuck some random sophomore who was in ensemble last year. What is Key doing giving sophomores callbacks? Maybe for the part of Les, but that seems like a waste of time.

Doyoung takes a deep breath to gain control over his racing mind. It’s important for him not to put much thought into it and to focus his energy on preparing for Wednesday.

\------------------------------

What. The. Fuck.

Donghyuck rereads his name for the tenth time, making sure that he’s not misreading it. He can’t seem to pull his eyes away from the piece of paper hanging in front of him.

“Jaemin, pinch me ple- OW! Dude, not that hard.”

He looks at the board again, rubbing his arm. This is usually the part in his dream where he wakes up, but the paper is still there, his name printed neatly in black and white letters. 

Holy shit, he got a callback. 

“Donghyuck, holy shit, this is amazing!”Jaemin engulfs Donghyuck in a tight hug, rocking them back and forth.

Holy fucking shit! HE GOT A CALLBACK! Donghyuck is still stunned, the world around him feels like it is spinning in circles.

“Hyuck, you there? Please don't die of shock. I need you for emotional support and history notes.” 

Donghyuck rubs his eyes and reads over the sheet one more time. Mark Lee huh? He really can't escape this kid, can he? 

\------------------------------

“Should we check it out?” Jeno asks, nodding towards the swarm of kids huddled around the bulletin board. 

“I say we go when there’s not a chance of getting trampled by a stampede of boys.” Mark gives the crowd a quick glance, searching for Donghyuck in the sea of heads. According to Jeno, sophomores rarely get callbacks. But if anyone could, it would be Donghyuck. He’s crazy talented and super dedicated to the theater program.

“Mark Lee?” he catches someone yell from the crowd. Lucas looks over his shoulder, and Jeno raises an eyebrow. 

“Uh, maybe you should go check it out man.” 

Mark stands up and maneuvers his way through the maze of bodies. He finds a stunned Donghyuck staring at the list with blank eyes as his friend Jaemin climbs on him like a jungle gym. Mark turns towards the board and scans down the piece of paper. No way! He lets out a sigh of relief when he sees Donghyuck’s name and shoots his friend an excited glance. Jaemin begins to drag him away but Donghyuck quickly meets Mark’s gaze and his smile widens.

“Congrats Mark! Can’t wait for Wednesday!”

Congrats? Can’t wait for Wednesday? Did Mark miss something? He spins back around to read the list of names one more time and -

HOLY SHIT! He got a callback?! He, MARK LEE, who has never done a musical in his entire life, got a callback?! Mark shoves through the crowd and sprints back to his table. Jeno and Lucas turn around to find a frantic looking Mark out of breath.

“Guys,” he wheezes. “I got,” another huff. “A CALLBACK!” Lucas and Jeno look at each other in disbelief, then back to Mark.

“Very funny Mark,” Lucas scoffs and turns back to the table.

“No bro, I shit you not!” Mark exclaims and leans into the table, “I, Mark Lee, got a callback!”

“What the fuck is going on,” Jeno puts his face in his hands and runs them through his hair. “First it was Hyuck and Jaemin, then Renjun, and now we’ve lost you to the theater cult?”

“Well good job dude, you're officially a theater kid! You wanna gold star?” Lucas giggles as he turns back to his food.

“Or a rainbow flag,” Jeno lets out a throaty laugh.

\------------------------------

Mark is nervous.

Correction, Mark is fucking terrified. 

Auditions are one thing, but callbacks are a whole new ball game. The more Mark thinks about it, the larger the pit in his stomach seems to grow. He prays he can make it through the next three hours without throwing up.

Mark peers around at the seven other boys, desperate to see if anyone else shares his feelings of distress. From what he’s been told about the senior named Doyoung, Mark is not surprised to see that he looks completely at ease as he chats with two other senior boys. On the other side of the stage, he sees Taeyong lying down with his head resting in Jaehyun’s lap as the older boy strokes his fingers through Taeyong’s fiery red hair. Mark turns his head and notices Winwin from the art room sitting by himself with headphones in his ears. He debates sitting next to the boy but he seems so calm and Mark doesn’t want to infect anyone else with his anxious energy.

“Hey Mark!”

Mark yelps as Donghyck walks up behind him and he gives the frazzled boy a concerned look.

“Hi Donghyuck,” Mark sighs, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Mark, are you ok? You look terrified.”

“Yeah. It’s just, I’ve never been to a callback, let alone an audition before Thursday, and it’s a little nerve-wracking I guess. 

“It’s ok! Everyone’s gotta start somewhere,” Donghyuck says, as he puts a hand on Mark's shoulder. “Jesus Mark, you’re shaking.”

He is? Mark didn’t even realize.

“Hey,” Donhyuck states seriously, looking Mark directly in the eyes. “You are going to be fine. I promise. Plus you’ve got me. I have done plenty of auditions so if you are confused or nervous about anything just ask me, ok?”

Mark nods as Donghyuck breaks into a large grin.

“You’re going to kick ass Mark Lee, I just know it.”

Mark is extremely grateful to have Donghyuck by his side. He just seems so calm and sounds very sure of what he was saying. Plus, one has ever talked to Mark this way and it makes him feel a lot more confident. Well, his mom always cheers him on, but that’s different.

“Hey Donghyuck?” Mark nervously asks. “Can we stick together today cause, ya know, we’re the only sophomores and stuff.”

Donghyuck giggles at how awkward Mark is, but it’s honestly pretty cute. 

“I think that sounds like a great plan.”

“Congratulations everyone!” Key says as he enthusiastically skips into the auditorium, followed by the four production directors. “You have survived the first round of auditions but now the real fun begins! Let’s get started, shall we? Doyoung, Kun, Jaehyun, and Mark will go over Santa Fe with Chanyeol. Donghyuck, Taeil, Taeyong, and Doyoung once he’s done, will run Watch What Happens with Baekhyun.”

Mark is relieved that he did his research by listening to the soundtrack last night. He doesn’t think he’d be able to learn a brand new song in this nervous state. Plus, Santa Fe is one of the hardest pieces vocally from the whole musical.

“When you all feel comfortable with those, you will individually audition for us. These will be very informal so don’t feel pressured to act all professional and shit. Just be yourself. Once vocal auditions are done, we will ask some of you to stay later for some pair work. You and your scene partner are going to be singing a cut of something to believe in and will read one of the scenes from the show. And don’t worry we will give you plenty of time to rehearse together beforehand. Does that sound good to everyone?”

The kids eagerly nod their heads, desperate to get started. 

“Splendid!” Key exclaims. “Let’s begin!”

\------------------------------

“Kun your up!” Baekhyun peaks his head out the door and ushers Kun through as Donghyuck staggers out. 

“How did it go?!” Mark sprints towards Donghyuck, not giving him a second to recover from his audition. Mark’s gut is coiled in fear and anxiety but he still wants to support his friend in any way he can.

“It went well, I think? They said I did a good job,” he says, smiling brightly at Mark which eases the tension in his shoulders. “Then again, they always say that.”

The small hallway they are cramped into makes Mark feel claustrophobic and uneasy. Each time Baekhyun pops his head through the stage door, his heart drops straight into his stomach as if he was on a roller coaster. The only people left to sing were him, Taeil, and Doyoung, so Mark knows he can’t escape his fate for much longer. 

“Yo, Mark,” Donhyuck says as the two boys find a seat on the cold marble floor. “I don’t know if you can tell but you look petrified.”

“Wow,” Mark deadpans. “I really couldn't notice.”

Donghyuck giggles. “Well, it may not seem like it but I honestly feel the same way. Although I’ve gotten a lot better at hiding it over the years.”

Mark rolls his eyes. There’s no way Donghyuck could be nervous, he’s a complete natural. 

"I always listen to music during callbacks to drown out the chaos around me,” Donghyuck says, fishing a pair of apple headphones out of his backpack. “Here take this.”

Mark puts on the earbud and rests his head on the wall behind him, closing his eyes until a familiar melody begins to ring in his ears.

“No fucking way!” Mark exclaims. “You listen to Day 6?!”

“Of course I do. Bold of you to assume I don't have taste Lee.” 

Both boys laugh and Mark closes his eyes, beginning to lose himself and his anxieties in the music.

\------------------------------

Mark’s audition goes surprisingly smoothly. There must be some higher power looking out for him today because his didn’t voice didn’t crack on the last note which is nothing short of a miracle.

“Wow, you all did so well!” Baekhyun exclaims, sifting through another stack of papers. “This the last thing we’ll be doing so you all will hopefully be out of here before dinner. You’re all going to read a scene from the show in pairs, one for Katherine and one for Jack. We will give you thirty minutes to work one on one with your partner.” 

Half an hour?! Mark doesn’t think he could learn this even if they gave him a week to practice. He peers around the room and it seems as though he is the only one panicked about the situation. Well, there’s no way Jaehyun knows what he’s doing but it’s obvious that the older boy could care less. 

“Ok first, Doyoung will read for Katherine and Kun will read for Jack.” The two boys excitedly grab their papers and run off to an empty music room. “Next Taeyong, read for Katherine and Jaehyun, read for Jack.” Jaehyun makes googly eyes at Taeyong who sighs and picks up sheets for both of them.

“And last but not least,” Baekhyun smirks and wiggles his eyebrows, “Donghyuck as Katherine and Mark as Jack kelly. Have fun boys,” Baekhyun winks and walks over to Key to trade notes.

“Wana just go to the music room?” Donghyuck wastes no time, turning to Mark with two papers in his hand.

“Yeah sure let's go.” 

The two boys sit on the floor silently skimming through their scene. This was something Mark could handle and as he reads the lines, he feels more confiden- ‘...out of nowhere, grabs JACK and kisses him full on the lips”

This a joke right?

“Um…” Mark starts.

Donghyuck chuckles awkwardly, clearly thinking the same thing. “Ya, I know. Looks like Key is looking for some chemistry huh?.” 

Mark rubs his eyes, hoping that it was just a misprint. But to no avail, the words are still there in small black ink. The directions outline that Katherine is supposed to grab Jack’s face and kiss him, meaning Donghyuck has to grab Mark’s face to kiss him. Oh god. There's no way Key would actually make them kiss….right? This is a high school theater audition, not broadway.

“How about we read it out loud so we can get a better feel for the scene as a whole. That sound ok?”

“Sure…” Mark squeaks, his voice cracking. Great. Just great.

“That was some speech you made.” 

“How’d you get here?”

They go over the whole scene and Mark makes little notes in his head about how to say what, when to pause, and other stuff. But Donghyuck seems to write a note on his script every line. Damn, this kid knows his shit. 

“How about we stand up this time. I have some stuff I want to try out.” Donghyuck springs off the floor and grabs a chair. “You start there,” he points to the door. “The piano over there will act as the end of the balcony and the chair will be our ladder, meaning you can't move past it, ok?” Mark gives Donghyuck a quick nod and stands in position.

“I told you, my professional name was plumber, and it is. You never asked my real one.”

As they trade lines and move about the makeshift set, Mark becomes more comfortable. It can’t hurt to take a few risks, right? This is a rehearsal after all.

“I wouldn’t think I had to unless I knew I was dealing with a backstabber.” He snaps leaning into Donghyuck. The other boy looks surprised but he rolls with it nonetheless.

“And if I was a boy, you’d be looking at me through one swollen eye.”

“Don’t let that stop ya. Gimme your best sho-”

“Ok cut,” Donghyuck interrupts, fumbling backward. But Mark’s quick reflexes come to the rescue as he wraps his arm around Donghyuck’s back before he can collide with the ground. The two boys are so close that Mark can feel Donghyuck’s breath on his skin as he stares into his wide eyes.

“Shit, sorry Donghyuck,” Mark gasps. He panics and slides his arm out from behind Donghyuck, who lands hard on his butt.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Are you ok? Can I get you anything.”

Mark lets out a sigh of relief as Donghyuck breaks out into laughter.

“God, you are so awkward.”

“I-i” Mark stammers, rubbing his neck. 

“So,” Donghyuck says standing back up. This is what we’re gonna do about….ya know.” Oh god. Mark hadn’t even realized it but they had stopped right before the dreaded kiss. 

“So starting at your line about the backstabber, walk away to stage left and turn your back.” Mark immediately does what Donghyuck asks, yet he can’t stop thinking about what will happen next.  
“Then, I’ll walk towards you and at your line, don’t let that stop ya. Gimme your best shot. Turn around and I will stand right in front of you, close,” Donghyuck walks over to Mark once again, standing inches away. Mark’s heart is threatening to burst its way through his chest but he gulps and gives Donghyuck a small nod. “But don’t knock me over this time.”

Mark is about to protest that it was Donghyuck who tripped, but the other boy suddenly grabs the sides of his head and bounces up on his tiptoes. “Then I'll grab your face, lean in, and we can touch foreheads like this.” It seems like Donghyuck is about to smash their faces together into a deep kiss, but he stops as soon as they touch foreheads. Donghyuck’s heavy breaths ring in Mark’s ear and he can make out the faint pounding of his rapid heartbeat.

They are very very close, way to close. The first accident was one thing but Mark knows he can’t make it through the rest of the day if they continue this physical contact. 

“And then we let go of each other and continue the scene, any questions?” Mark shakes his head and Donghyuck returns to his normal state and repositions himself to begin the scene again. It’s as though a switch has been flipped in his brain and Mark would do anything to have one of his own. 

They complete a few more run-throughs, but Mark can’t shake the stiffness out of his body. Donghyuck suggests loosening his limbs, repeatedly suggesting to take it easy but it has no effect on Mark’s awkwardness.

“I'm sorry Donghyuck I just can't relax, I'm so sorry,” he sighs defeatedly and slides down the wall, puts his arms over his face. He can’t cry. He can't cry in front of Donghyuck. 

“It's ok, really Mark.” Donghyuck slides down next to Mark and lightly rests a hand on Mark's knee. “If you feel this uncomfortable about the scene we can change it, or just not do it. I rather not go through with my audition than make you suffer through yours.”

“No!” Mark yells, shooting up which catches Donghyuck off guard. “Sorry but it’s just, you are like, a super good actor. Like, it's crazy and you don't even seem to realize. I just want Key and Baekhyun to see how amazing you are because you deserve this!” 

Donghyuck gapes at Mark. “Well you’re being hypocritical then.” he huffs.

“Hypocritical?”

“You heard me right,” Donghyuck huffs. “If you can’t acknowledge how talented you are, then you can’t tell me how good of an actor I am. Plus Key knows me while this is your first audition. If anyone deserves it it’s you.”

“Look,” Mark starts rubbing a hand through his hair. “I know I need to be more confident, it’s what my mom has been pushing on me for years. But I think we both know it's a lot easier said than done. I just, I don't know….I guess I feel….weird? ”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It was necessary and out of place,” Donghyuck murmurs, his word laced with the faintest bit of shame. Mark feels a pool regret splash around in his stomach. Great job, now Donghyuck thinks you're an asshole.

“I'm sorry I am making you feel uncomfortable, I didn't want to do that. But I obviously hurt you.” Donghyuck goes to move away from the floor but Mark shoots his hand out and latches onto Donghyuk's wrist.

“Donghyuck wait! You didn't make me feel uncomfortable and you have nothing to apologize for. I wouldn’t say uncomfortable is the word I’m looking for. It’s kind of like I’m out of my element. No, that does not make sense, does it? It’s just, I get so nervous around you but you also make me feel very validated and safe. I’m honestly shit at this whole friends thing since I’ve never had any. I guess I’m just figuring this all out as I go.” Mark chuckles to himself. He must look like an idiot to Donghyuck opening up like this.

“Well, I don't feel uncomfortable around you either and I think I get what you are saying. Up until I met Jaemin, Jeno, and Renjun, I never had friends. Kids were always such dicks to me back in Korea, but now I’m surrounded by people who genuinely care about me. And if you want my honest opinion, I think you are doing a great job at this whole friend thing so I’m sure you’ll know how it feels soon enough.” Donghyuck grins at Mark. The uneasy feeling in Mark’s stomach has now turned into a bubbling of excitement.”

“You know what? Let’s go over the scene one more time!” Mark shoots up from the corner they were sitting in. “We’ll show those upperclassmen who really run this theater!”

“Yeah, let's do it!” Donghyuck cheers. 

\------------------------------

“Taeyong’s my best friend but still. I'm just as good of a singer as him, and I am definitely the better dancer. Everyone knows that! It's just so frustrating how he always gets all the attention,” Ten pouts looking over to Johnny hoping for some kind of response. 

He’s been ranting to his boyfriend about how Taeyong got a callback and he didn’t. Yet instead of his usual, “I’m sorry baby” or “you’ll always be the best to me, Johnny stays silent taking another hit from his blunt. Now that Ten thinks about it, Johnny has been weirdly quiet all day, and extra high. As soon as classes ended, he marched straight back to his dorm and has been in a haze since then. He even skipped dinner which only made Ten even more nervous.

“Babe what's wrong,” he climbs on top of Johnny trying to catch his eyes long enough to read him.

“Nothing I’m fine.” 

Ten pulls the small blunt out of Johnny’s and holds it behind his back. 

“Get off Ten, I need another hit.” He reaches behind Ten’s back but the younger boy is much quicker and more agile than Johnny, especially when he is in a state like this.

“That's enough weed for tonight babe,” he smiles down at his boyfriend who looks even more pitiful than before.

“Give it back Ten,” He grumbles, pushing himself onto his elbow. 

“Did you take your meds today?” Ten hates having to parent Johnny but sometimes he really needs it.

“Your not my fucking mom now give me my weed or get out.” He collapses back into the bed, pushing the heel of his palms into his eyes and rubs them with a groan.

“Johnny Suh, talk to me. I know that you know you can tell me anything. I just want what's best for you. So please, tell me what's wrong.” 

Johnny groans again but he can’t muster up enough energy to fight back. Ten lays down next to Johnny and nuzzles himself into his boyfriend’s side. He can feel his chest expand and contract as their breathes become synchronized.

“My mom called me yesterday,” he murmurs.

“What did she say?”

“You know, the usual shit.”

Ten cocks an eyebrow at Johnny, pushing him to continue. Ten is aware of what the “usual shit implies,” but there’s no way he’s taking that as an answer.

“Like, how are your grades? They better be higher than last semester. What extracurriculars are you doing? Are you still hanging around with those troublemakers? Why do you hang around such bad kids? What will colleges think when your teachers talk about who you are associated with? Are you still maintaining a good work ethic and working out? Schools don’t give scholarships to lazy boys-”

“Hey hey babe it's ok,” Ten says as Johnny takes a deep shaky breath. “Don’t forget to breathe on me now.”

Ten is used to Johnny’s breakdowns about his parents. It’s been this way since freshman year and if you gave him the chance, Ten would be more than happy to slap Mrs. Suh straight across the face. That woman is a cold-hearted bitch, but she still is Johnny’s mother so Ten has learned to tolerate her. 

“Fuck Ten what am I suppose to do?” Johnny groans into his arm that’s folded over his face. “I try to be a good son. Get good grades, be the star athlete, and all that shit, but it is so draining.” 

He knows his parents want the best for him. That's why they moved to America; to give Johnny the opportunity they didn't have back in Korea. They want him to be happy and successful but of course that includes attending an ivy league school and acquiring a job with a 6 digit salary. Johnny has tried reaching out plenty of times. But whenever he attempts to talk about the amount of stress and pressure he’s under, they immediately shut him down. He’s not asking for much yet they still don’t get it.

Even when his guidance counselors sent his parents letters about how they were worried about his mental health, they just brushed it aside and said that is no excuse for bad grades. 

Even when he got fucking hospitalized, his parents never understood. 

“You are doing everything you can do Johnny,” Ten coos, running a finger over Johnny's stomach in a figure-eight motion, “You can't please your parents all the time, they need to learn you are not perfect.”

“Ya like that’s ever going to happen,” Johnny scoffs.

“Johnny,” Ten snaps, shooting daggers from his eyes until Johnny gets the message.

“Ok, ok. I’m sorry Ten. You’re completely right and I love you so much.” Johnny pulls Ten up closer to him and plants a gentle kiss onto his head.

“I love you too,” Ten sighs, moving up closer and gives Johnny a quick peck on the lips. 

Johnny elongates the kiss and adjusts his hands to hold Ten's waist, attempting to hoist him up so the smaller boy is straddling his hips. Ten giggles and pushes Johnny’s hands away. “Oh no no no, you are still high and I do not have sex with people who are under the influence of any mind-altering substances and can not consent.”

“Ugh, you’re always so annoying about giving consent. I can give consent just fine. Look I am giving consent right now. Chittaphon Lechaiponkyul can we please fuck.” Johnny puts on his best puppy dog face for his boyfriend.

“How about we sleep off your high and then we can do whatever you want.” Ten gives Johnny one last peck and then snuggles into his chest, closing his eyes. 

Johnny looks down at the gorgeous boy lying peacefully against him. How the fuck did he get so lucky?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This M, the other author of this fic :) V is currently too high to post so I have been instructed to do it for them smh 
> 
> Anyways, I know we promised the fic would be updated Thursday but it ended up being a lot longer than we expected whoops. V has been busy with work and I'm taking a lot of online theater classes but we are working very hard to keep consistently updating.
> 
> Also, I thought I should point out that this chapter was painful for me to edit as a theater kid who has been through plenty of callbacks. Mark's anxiety may seem over the top but I can confirm from experience that it is definitely not 😅
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this long ass chapter and as always, thank you sooooo much for all of the support 😊💕


	9. Write It In Ink Or In Blood, It's The Same Either Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this chapter is SUPER over the top and dramatic but it was really fun to write so I hope you enjoy reading it!!
> 
> Also for those of you who are not familiar with the musical Newsies, these are the parts you might need some context on:  
> Katherine (the lead female role)  
> Davey (the second largest male role in the show; it's a really big part)  
> Pulitzer (he is the villain and even though he has his own song, it's not really a big part since he's only in a few scenes)
> 
> Also, just a heads up, there are mentions of blood and panic attacks in this chapter so if those are things that don't sit well with you, feel free to skip that part/proceed with caution.  
> (That sounds really bad but I promise it isn't loll)

(Word Count: 4131)

Doyoung darts towards the cast list and slides a shaky finger down the paper with nervous excitement. But his heart breaks as he follows the line connecting to his name. 

Pulitzer 

He stares blankly at the page as other students shove him aside to see their own parts.

“What does it say, what does it say!” Jungwoo, Taeil, and Kun run up behind Doyoung excitedly scanning the list. 

“Jeez, Jungwoo gives me a second to che- oh my god!” Kun rubs his eyes to make sure he read the sheet properly. But his name is printed neatly in black ink as clear as day. “Holy shit I got Davey! Oh my GOD! This is- oh my god!” Kun flips back and forth between his friends and the paper hanging on the board.

He runs his hands through his hair in disbelief. He got a lead! Not some background ensemble. This was a real actual lead.

Doyoung pushes Kun out of the way and traces the dotted line next to his name for the second time. “I can’t fucking believe this.” He furrows his brow while hot anger bubbles in his gut. “What is Key on? I got Pulitzer. I mean, how did two sophomores beat me out for the leads? I’ve been waiting for this day for the past four years and now it’s fucking ruined!” He spits as he storms out of the crowd.

“Doyoung, I get your disappointment but it’s still a really good part! Look on the bright side, you have a ton of lines and your own song!” Jungwoo pleads, chasing after his nearly hysteric friend.

“What are colleges gonna think when they see that some sophomore got the lead over me, huh? How can I even show my face in rehearsal with everyone knowing I got beat by some twink sophomore and his boy toy.”

Kun sighs as his friend continues to rant. He empathizes with Doyoung’s anger but he’s always just so pessimistic all the time. 

“God Doyoung, if actually go into theater you need to learn to deal with rejection. You’re not gonna get every job you want so you better start thinking like it.”

Kun regrets what he has said the minutes the words leave his mouth as Doyoung gapes at him with a look of betrayal and hurt in his eyes.  
“Look Doyoung, I’m sorry. That comment was out of place and it was completely my bad. I just think we should celebrate all of the successes and be optimistic about it. 

“That’s easy for you to say,” Doyoung scoffs. “I have worked my ass off to get where I am. You of all people should know that! Plus we all know that Key’s casting is total bullshit and is totally based on favoritism! He knows I’m doing college auditions yet he doesn’t happen to think about how bad this could look for me.” 

He can't be serious. Key is somehow being unprofessional while Doyoung is the one pulling a hissy fit over getting a role that isn’t the star. Kun squeezes his eyes shut, pushing down the furry mustering in his chest.

“Doyoung, how could you say that about Key? He has done nothing but help and support all of us since freshman year. You're just pissy that you aren’t the director's pet like you were for Leeteuk. You aren’t the only person at this school who has worked their ass off. Everyone got the part they deserved so grow up and accept the part you got like a professional or quit the show. No one’s forcing you to stay anyways.” 

“Fuck you Kun!”

Both boys stomp away, anger fuming out their ears as if they were cartoon characters.

“Wow, I have never seen Kun that mad,” Jungwoo murmurs to Taeil, neither one enjoying the fact that a cast list is creating a rift in their friend group.

\------------------------------

Donghyuck has a weird sense of deja vu. It feels like it was yesterday he was gaping at his name on the callback list. But now it’s the real thing yet it seems like a dream. 

“Oh my god, Hyukkie, I'm so proud of you!!!” Jaemin shakes him aggressively, almost sweeping his feet out from under him in excitement.

He got Katherine, he got a lead, he is going to get a bunch of lines and solos and- 

Oh. My. God. How is this possible, how is he a lead? The Lead to be specific. He is only a sophomore. 

Donghyuck’s mind races with overstimulation as the chaos grows louder around him. The pushing and shoving are too much for him to handle and the shouts of his friends start to become fuzzy. 

It's all too much.

The world seems to tip, and Donghyuck hears a faint scream before everything cuts to black.

\------------------------------

Mark tries to slip through the thick crowd surrounding the bulletin board, but his skinny figure does not give him much strength to force through the cluster of boys. But that problem suddenly solves itself as a cry emerges from inside the circle and all hell breaks loose. With the cloud of shock that has fallen over the room, Mark finally has the chance to shove his way to the front. There at his feet lies Donghyuck, passed out on the floor, blood slowly pooling from under his head. 

Mark’s knees hit the tile hard and he feels it reverberate through his bones. His hands are numb as he takes off his own blazer. 

“Jaemin,” Mark snaps. The boy in question is hovering over next to Donghyuck, completely petrified in fear. “Tell Jeno and Lucas to run here to help me and then go straight to the nurse.” Jaemin’s eyes are still glazed over and he doesn't move.

“Jaemin, do it NOW,” Mark bellows. “Time is of the essence. This is Donhyuck’s safety we’re dealing with here.” Luckily, his shouting seems to snap Jaemin out of his haze as he sprints into the sea of students. 

Jeno and Lucas are at his side in seconds but they freeze when their eyes meet the crimson-colored floor.

“Ok, Jeno, try to clear the crowd and keep a lookout for the nurse or paramedics. Lucas,” He places an arm on his shoulder, creating something to focus on other than the blood and body. “ I need your help moving his body so I can stop the bleeding until the nurse gets here.” 

“You heard what he said,” Jeno shouts. “Give the boy some space! The cast list will still be here when this is over so move your lazy asses out of the way!”

Mark lets out a small sigh of relief when the group of students gradually disperses and Lucas quickly kneels on the other side of Donghyuck awaiting Mark’s next instruction.

“I need to get the bleeding to stop, but we need to move his body as little as possible. When I say so, we are going to flip his body so he is lying on his back, but we have to be very careful.” 

Lucas situates himself around Donghyuk legs and Mark gives him the signal to roll the unconscious boy over. He lays Donghyuk’s head in his lap, making sure to elevate his shoulders slightly to stop the flow of blood. Mark’s stomach churns as he brushes Donghyuk’s red-stained hair aside to find the source of bleeding. Lucas turns as white as a ghost and seems like he is seconds away from vomiting. Luckily the bleeding has slowed down significantly, meaning that it shouldn't be too big of a cut. On the flip side, it is very likely Donghyuck will need stitches. 

“It's going to be ok Mark,” he repeats to himself. “You have done everything you could for Donghyuck, therefore he will be ok.”

But what if it isn’t enough? What if he loses his best friend?

Mark’s heart is pumping so fast he can hear it in his ears but he pushes through for Donghyuck. He begins to drown out every other sound around him and focuses on Donghyuk’s breathing pattern. He presses two fingers against the boy’s wrist and can feel a pulse. Thank god.

Suddenly he feels a tap on his shoulder which startles Mark. A woman with flowing brown hair stands over the two boys accompanied by a distressed and puffy-eyed Jaemin. She has kind eyes and a soothing smile.

“You did a great job Mark but we can take it from here,” she says calmly. Mark gets a quick glimpse of her name tag, “Krystal”

“We are just going to wait for him to regain consciousness or for the ambulance to come before we move him. They said it should be here in about five minutes,” she explains, rubbing small circles into Mark’s shoulder while she kneels down next to him. “I’m Krystal by the way, the school nurse. I’m sorry we had to meet in such unfortunate circumstances.” She holds out a hand for him to shake which Mark reluctantly takes but quickly returns to nursing Donghyuk’s head in his lap. 

“You are doing a great job of handling this Mark, but how about you let go of him and let us take care of him.”

“No, I'm not leaving him!” Mark exclaims. He doesn't want to move Donghyuck around any more than needed. It could cause him more harm. Mark also has no intention of leaving his friend’s side until he knows that he is safe. The last thing he wants is for Donghyuck to wake up in a hospital room surrounded by strangers.

“Mark I can assure you we will take perfect care of him. Go to class, everything will be fine.” He objects by gently slipping Donghyuk’s hand into his and gives it a small squeeze. There is no way Mark is leaving.

“Ok, I understand.” Krystal sighs. “But we do need to clean up his head so could you please move your jacket.” Her voice is very soothing and reminds him of the way his mother would talk to him. Mark nods and removes his blazer from behind Donghyuck’s head. Krystal wastes no time, making quick work of cleaning the cut and placing a glaze patch on it. 

“Mark could you please hold the gauze to his head while I wrap it. If you are going to stick around I might as well put you to work.” Mark holds the patch against Donghyuck’s head while Krystal secures it in place with a bandage. Mark takes his eyes off his friend for the first time and realizes that the cafeteria is completely empty. He was so preoccupied that he doesn't even remember Lucas, Jaemin, and Jeno leaving.

“So Mark, how old are you? And, if you don’t mind me asking, how did you know what to do so quickly? Most kids your age don’t usually have the same amount of experience as you from what I’ve seen.” 

Mark knows this trick. He has seen his mom use it a million times on kids. You ask them questions about whatever in order to try to get them to think about anything that will distract and ground them.

“Uh, I’m 16. And my mom is actually used to be a nurse at a hospital back home in Canada. She mostly just works at schools now but she taught me everything I know.”

Suddenly Donghyuk’s head rolls to the side and he and Krystal are pulled from their conversation as his eye’s flutter open. 

“Ow, what the fuck happened. My head is fucking throbbing.” Donghyuck moves to rub his temple but his hand is held in place by someone else who rubs circles into his palm. Donghyuck’s eyes trace up the mystery boy’s body until he is looking straight up into the beautiful, perfect, glorious face of Mark Lee.

“Donghyuck, this is nurse Krystal. You passed out and your head hit the floor causing you to lose a lot of blood. We’re gonna need to move as little as possible until the ambulance gets here. You should be plenty alright though. But because you are under eighteen, the doctors will likely do a few tests to make sure you are 100% all right.” Mark figures he doesn’t need to mention anything about stitches since this kid has been through enough trauma for the day.

“Mark,” Donghyuck croaks.

“It’s ok. I’m here Hyuck, don't worry. You’re gonna be fine.” 

Mark knows he doesn't have the same calming effect as the pretty nurse or his mom but he tries his best to use the most soothing tone he can. Luckily, she gives him a reassuring smile as they both let their shoulder slump in relief. 

“Can I go to the hospital with him?” Mark pleads, turning to Krystal.

“Well, I guess that will be alright. We were planning on sending a teacher with him too..”

“Key,” Mark blurts out, “Mr. Kim Kibum, please. Donghyuck would really appreciate it if you can get him, right Hyuck,?” Mark asks, trying to get his friends reassurance.

“Yes please, I want Mark and Key,” Donghyuck mumbles.

Screeching sirens approach the school, but Mark tunes them out, focusing on keeping Donghyuck conscious. He can vaguely hear Krystal ordering someone to retrieve Key and moments later, their teacher is at their side cooing about how bad he feels for Donghyuck. The EMT workers follow soon after with a stretcher and wrap Donghyuck in a bulky neck brace. Despite his Mom being a nurse, Mark has never ridden in an ambulance so under different circumstances, this might have been exciting. They begin to take Donghyuck’s vitals but Mark refuses to let him out of his grasp. He is trying to keep a calm and happy exterior while on the inside he is absolutely terrified, more so than callbacks. 

“Mark,” Donghyuck whimpers. He is clearly too overstimulated by the chaos around him and Mark’s heart breaks as Donghyuck’s eyes well up with tears. 

“Shhh. Just breathe and look into my eyes. I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

Donghyuck gives Mark’s hand a faint squeeze and rests his head onto the stretcher.

\------------------------------

The next few hours rush by in a blur. Donghyuck has to get five stitches which he squirms through but doesn’t cry. Although, he almost breaks down when the doctors shave a section of his hair off to heal the wound. 

They finish by doing some blood work and send Key and the two boys to a waiting room. Donghyuck rests his head on Mark’s shoulder, flashing him a quick smile before drifting off to sleep. Mark can’t believe the day he’s had. It feels more like something out of a movie than real life. But seeing Donghyuck sleeping peacefully puts him at ease and he strokes a hand through Donghyuck’s hair in admiration.

“So Mark, are you happy about the part?” Key asks, interrupting Mark’s inner monologue. He looks up at his teacher with a sheepish expression and rubs the back of his neck. 

“Oh um, I actually didn't get the chance to see the cast list during the chaos. Hopefully, it was something good?” 

Key scoffs. “That's an understatement, kid.” 

Right as he is about to continue a doctor enters and hands Key a manila folder. He motions for the two boys to go. Mark takes a final mental picture of the sweet sleeping Donghyuck boy before gently shaking his shoulder. 

“Mmm, give me five more minutes,” Donghyuck says, snuggling closer into Mark’s side and wrapping his arms around his waist.

\------------------------------

“Thank you,” Donghyuck pauses, putting together the perfect words to show Mark how grateful he is. “Like really thank you, you saved my life. I don't know how I could ever thank you enough.”

Mark and Donghyuck are back at the school, slowly trudging up the stairs to their dorms. Mark’s heart melts again at Donghyuck’s adorably big, bright puppy eyes, sparkling with sincerity and appreciation. 

“Thank you Hyuck that means a lot. I'm just relieved that you’re alright.” 

Donghyuck stops in front of his dorm room and before Mark can continue, his engulfed in a warm hug. Mark doesn't hesitate to return the hug as he wraps his arm around the small boy. He knows it’s stupid how much he cares for Dongyuck. They haven’t even known each other for more than a couple of weeks yet Mark is beginning to feel such a powerful bond between the two of them. Well, traumatic situations have the tendency to bring people together after all.

“Thank you for being my friend Hyuck,” he mumbles into his shoulder.

“Thank you for being my friend, Mark Lee.” 

They stand there for a bit, breathing in each other’s smell and grasping onto every last they have together. 

Donghyuck eventually pulls away and knocks on the door. A crash and bang can be heard inside as Jaemin swings open the door and smothers Donghyuck in a bear hug. Donghyuck mouths a ‘thank you’ to Mark as Jaemin drags his roommate into their room.

\------------------------------

I cry too much, is what Mark thinks as he pulls his phone from the nightstand and the clock glows, 4:23 AM. 

He wipes his eyes with the balls of his hands and holds in a sniffle. He can’t let Lucas see him like this. Mark finally has new friends but it’s only a matter of time before he scares them away again.

Mark doesn't even know why he is crying. He has never been surrounded by nicer, funnier, and supportive people. Why can’t he just appreciate it? Why does he always assume that anything good that happens to him is just an illusion?

Mark knows he is awkward. He knows that people aren’t drawn to him the way they are to people like Donghyuck or Lucas. Every time Mark thinks he has found a potential friend, he fucks it up by opening up too fast and scares them away. Not to mention that he can’t even hold a conversation. But he has hope that this school will be different. His new friends don't find his awkward comments off-putting, they just roll with it. They don’t judge his vulnerability, they welcome it.

“But what if they are faking it?” The voice in Mark’s head snaps at him. It is shrill and full of hate and Mark shoves a pillow over his head, desperate for the words to fade away.

“They are probably making fun of you behind you back and think you’re weak for being emotional all the time. Face it, they only keep you around to entertain themselves and laugh at you. And after the scene you made in the cafeteria today, they see you as a freak.”

“Shut up,” Mark sobs, digging his fingers deeper into the pillow.

His mind has been dragged out to sea by the riptide of doubts and intruding thoughts. Mark knows exactly what is happening the minute his breath picks up as his vision becomes warped. He sits up in bed, energy streaming through his body and puts a hand to his heart but it's too late. His already queasy stomach is rising and falling and his eyes overflow with tears. He pulls his knees into his chest as the whole room spins around him. He just wants it to end. He can't stand this feeling. He can't handle this.

“Mark, holy shit, are you ok?” Shit. Lucas has woken up and is kneeling at the side of his bed.

“Mark, do I need to call the nurse. Can you speak?” Lucas sits on the bed and rubs Mark’s back. The physical grounds Mark a bit and he can finally feel his breath begin to slow. 

“Mark, I don’t know what’s wrong but everything is ok.” Mark wishes that was true. He knows Lucas is probably just saying it to make him feel better. He's gonna tell his friends tomorrow morning about how his wimp roommate had a panic attack at 4 am.

Mark struggles out of Lucas's grip and pushes his knees down to the floor. He reaches for the first aid kit under his bed, pushing through the contents until he feels the familiar plastic pack. Mark’s hands tremble as he shakes the ice pack until it is cold to the touch. His face stings as his skin connects with the frigid plastic but it helps ground him. 

He climbs back onto the bed, gripping the ice pack as he looks up to meet Lucas's eyes. He looks extremely worried and very lost at this point.

“T.I.P.P,” Mark mumbles as he rubs his face some more. The extra energy is still running up and down his body and his heart is still beating a million miles a minute. 

“Tip….what?”

“Temperature, intense exercise, paced breathing, and paired muscle relaxation. It’s an acronym for a skill I learned in therapy to deal with panic attacks, which is what that was.” 

Lucas nods but his eyes are still darting between Mark's flushed face and his shaking hands.

“The cold helps reset the nervous system, which gets messed up during a panic attack.”

“Oh,” is all Lucas says who honestly has no clue how to respond. He knew what panic attacks were, kind of, but he has never seen someone have one until now. And it was fucking terrifying. 

“I don't really know what I should do, but do you wanna like, talk about it?” Lucas' discomfort can be felt miles away but Mark appreciates how his roommate is still trying.

“Um, I don't know. I don't want to like, scare you away or anything.” Who knows what Lucas would think if Mark explained how he felt, he would probably see him as even more of a freak then before. And he really won't blame Lucas if he did.

“Mark, I’ve already had one friend go to the hospital in the past twenty-four hours so I’d prefer it if it stayed that way. I can also tell that you’re not gonna calm down unless you talk about it so….well you don’t have to if you don’t want to but I feel like it would be helpful.”

“It’s just, um, I didn't have any good friends back in Canada and I wasn’t the best at getting along with the kids at my old school too well. But here it's almost too good to be true. Everyone has been so nice and welcoming to me, they don't mind how weird I am. It just, it can't be real right? My brain keeps on repeating that everyone secretly hates me, that they whisper about me, and that even you and Jeno talk behind my back about me.” Mark can't look at Lucas, it would just break him. 

This amazing fantasy school would shatter the moment he looks into Lucas's eyes, coming to the harsh reality of his hoax being found out.

“Wow, I….wow.” Lucas pauses carefully searching for the best words to use. “That isn't true Mark. I really don't know how to convince you but you’re gonna have to trust me it's not. You are seriously awesome! You are funny and such a breath of fresh air from some of the snotty stuck up kids that go here. And besides, it hasn't exactly been the perfect experience you crack it up to be. I mean you went to the hospital today, that is not a fun place.” They both laugh breaking the tense atmosphere. 

“I don't know if this is helping you at all, but I am really, really happy you are my roommate Mark. You are just chill, you think shit through, and you can handle anything that comes your way. Like today with Donghyuck, literally everyone in that cafeteria was shocked by how quickly you reacted. And I know that I'm lucky to have such good friends but they don't have the best track record regarding good decisions. I honestly needed someone like you in my life right now,” Lucas says while looking and his feet and twirling his thumbs.

“Shit wait I’m really sorry about that rant. This is about you not me, god I am such a dick. I’m sorry.” Lucas goes to push himself up, disappointment painted across his face.

“What, no Lucas, that was exactly what I needed to hear!” Mark may not be able to get rid of the part of his brain telling him all the same bullshit but it is no match for Lucas’ strong and reassuring voice. 

“Oh that’s good,” Lucas sighs as a faint smile flickers across his pace.

“We should probably sleep now,” Mark tucking himself under his thick comforter. “It’s been a crazy day.”

“Agreed,” Lucas laughs, doing the same

“Good night Lucas. Thanks for everything.”

“Night Mark. And you’re welcome. I’m here for you. Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This is M again!
> 
> Soooo V has injured their foot (we don't know if it is broken or sprained but they have been on crutches for the past day) which is obviously not good but that means more time for writing yaaaay!
> 
> Anyways this chapter man. It's waaay over the top but V actually did a ton of research on how to treat someone with head trauma so that is all accurate. But no matter how cheesy this chapter is, I am living for the dRamA hehe.
> 
> Also, I'm not sure if any of our readers know about DBT skills but the TIPP thing Mark uses is actually a real thing! Both V and I find it really helpful and recommend this to anyone who might need it. :)
> 
> Make sure to take care of yourself and stay healthy! (unlike V haha) And as always, thank you soooooo much for supporting this fic. Neither of us could have ever imagined that more than 20 people would actually read this so the fact that we have over 1,000 hits is CRAZY!! 💕💕💕
> 
> Ok last thing; stream 1 Billion Views by EXO-SC


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